I remember what you said

And every time I do…

I close my eyes and pause.

Like when I hear his name.

Was it worth saying?

Did it make you feel better?

Words haunt me

But none more than your own.

I remember them

 I see you looking at me as you speak

In my memories…

A disappointment,

Now a snake for me

As though what I did was wrong

As though I am at fault

“…A Snake,” You look up “for you.”

I pause closing my eyes at the memory

Those are not the words of a supposed martyr.

And yet you play or played the role

And I?

Am I to villainized…

For speaking the truth.

You said it was none of my business,

Then why did I see it?

Your defense, that I don’t complain when you bring that woman around

How can I?

You’re the one that brings her?

I will never chastise you for living your life.

Silent for so long, feeling shame

Feeling like I’m swallowing his pride

Every time… silent is how I remain

I was put into a corner

And you don’t remember

How you unknowingly directed me there.

I have felt guilt for not honoring thy mother and thy father

Like the bible says.

But not for him, but for you

When you say I don’t treat you like him

But I treat you better

I have always treated you better.

It was for the best.

Remain silent,

Wanting to avoid the fight;

Every time,

 all those many, many times

Choose to be quiet.

Never choosing a side,

But the one time I decided to speak.

And it seems

What is left of what we have

Means so little to you

You would let this ruin it;

Something that should never affect us…

Yet I suppose the truth is

This has always affected us.

It’s one of the reasons

We now stand so far apart.

But never should this be a deciding factor

Yet, I believe you are letting it.

And because you are the one letting it

As always I will deal with it.

 I fought back the tears during our conversation

Could you even tell?

And then there was the shocking feeling

When I heard the sentence that involved… Snake.

I was silent for so long…

…For you, and then for me when I didn’t have the guts to speak.

But here I stand

Among those you cast the blame.

And you say…

You should’ve gotten a snake…

For me.