Where Did I Fail?

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Where Did I Fail?

Hating myself.
Berating myself.
I failed her.
I failed me.
I failed us.
Everyone says it's not my fault but I feel like it is.
How did I let it get to this?
How did I let it get this far?
How did we come to this point?
Where did I screw up?
Where did it all go so terribly wrong?
Can we come back from this?
After all these years of trying can we even heal?
I'm scared she'll hate me forever.
I'm terrified I've lost her and we'll never find our way back to each other. 
How can I lose her three times in the same lifetime?
Maybe I wasn't patient enough.
Should  I have been more lenient?
Should I have been stricter?
Was I not understanding enough or too understanding?
I just don't know.
I don't know anything anymore.
I don't know anything for sure.
Im so confused.

06-27-20

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A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness. It finds the thought and the thought finds the words.

Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

Trista3’s Poems (183)

Title Comments
Title Comments
I Will 0
I Wish 0
Maybe It’s Me 0
Maybe 0
My Bad, I Forgot 0
Here We Go Again 0
What I Really Want 0
Surprise Surprise 0
Cravings 1
Gutted 0
A Maze of Mirrors 0
I'll Lie 0
Little Things 0
Little Birds 0
Finally 0
Protection Spell 0
Forgotten 1
Caught In The Middle 0
You Wouldn’t Know 0
Journey 0
Moments 0
Always Alone 0
Worthless 0
Hiding 0
Who Am I 0
Story of My Life 0
Wallflower 0
Tired 0
You Broke Something In Me 0
Acceptance 0
Don't Dismiss My Shell 1
Waiting 2
Save Me 0
Failure 1
Fog 0
Half Life 0
I Am Here For You 0
One Day 0
Happy Holidays 0
You Got This 0
2020 0
Perception 0
Stuck Tongue 0
Where Did I Fail? 0
Vicious Cycle 0
Dreams 0
Thinking of You 0
Emotions Suck 0
Unintended Path 0
Questions 1
Your Not Alone 1
Sweet Child 0
Darkness 0
Belief 0
Sinking 0
My Wish 0
Forever Yours 0
The Chaos of Silence 0
Depressions Fight 0
Selfish Bastard 0
Bare With Me 0
I'm a Selfish B*tch 0
All Cards On The Table 0
Healing 0
Indecision 0
Reality Check 0
Be Free 0
Lost 0
Be Ready 0
Burdens 0
Hindsight 0
Now I Can See 0
Discovery 0
Angel Baby 0
Waiting 0
Oh My Sister 0
Don't Go 0
Darkness 0
Suicide 0
Motherhood 0
Let It Be Over 0
Hidden Wounds 0
I am Lost 0
You 0
Pieces 0
Tired 0
Evan and Mommy's Chair 1
Numb 0
Little One 0
Thank You 0
A Rule Of Life 0
My Children 0
Please Understand 4
Be Open 3
Motherhood 1
Down But Not Out 2
The Best Christmas Present 1
My Big Boys 1
Go to Sleep 0
Rock- a- bye 0
Fear 2
You Never Know How Much Time You Have 2
Alone 1
Knight 1
Life is Short 1
Home 1
Pure Gold 1
Black Friday 1
The Good With The Bad 1
Treachery 1
Betrayal 1
What is Left Unspoken 0
Why Abandon Me 0
See The Truth 0
Dreams 0
I've Met Someone 1
Tears 0
Gone 0
It's Not Really Good- Bye 0
Believe 0
Love 0
For All Time 0
You 0
Bad Cards 0
Broken Heart 0
Wrong or Right 0
I've Moved On 0
Look Straight Ahead 1
First Kiss 1
Have You Ever 1
I Should Of Listened 0
It Barely Hurt 0
Seeing Their Love 0
Poems to New York After 9/ll 0
Your Never Really There 0
Never Forgotten 0
Never Together 0
Why (2002) 0
She May Finally Be Proud of Me 1
So Close 0
Finally 0
The Moon 0
Look For The Light 0
Void 0
Wings of My Soul 0
I can Never Give up 0
Never Ending Battle 0
Personal Sayings 0
Being As One 0
My Prayer 0
Happiness 0
Weakness 0
Second Chance 0
My Fault 0
Home Coming 0
Bliss 0
Perfect World 0
No One Sees 0
Believe In Yourself 0
My Saviour 0
Dream Sweet Dreams 0
Lulaby 0
The Two of Us 0
The Fallen 0
Survive 0
My Future Vows 0
Enough is Enough 0
Innuendo 0
My Best Friend 0
Search Your Soul 0
Questions of The Heart 0
What Do You Believe In 0
The Things You Did To Me 0
Ramblings of My Mind 0
A Mother's Love 0
New Life 0
Death of My Best Friend 0
My Family 0
Two of You 0
Tired of It All 0
Lost 0
Questions of Character 0
Shattered Heart 2