Why was it so hard
To love me
And keep me
Protected in your world

Why weren't you there
When I cried
And bled
To wipe my tears and help me

Why were your only requests of me
For another beer
And not a hug
Every day of my childhood

Why would your temper flare
At our laughter
And playfulness
When we were excited to see you

Why would we go to bed
To wake up alone
With no warning
And you stayed gone for months

Why did we never hear the words
I love you
I'm proud of you
Instead we got deafening silence

Why did the phases of your life
Change like seasons
And sometimes
Not have room for me in it

Why is it I could still
Love and look
Up to you
Even though I had to raise myself

Why is it that despite
Your faults
Your flaws
I always seemed to miss my daddy

Why is it that I'm grown now
a woman
with a family
And now you are hurt by my absence

Why do I feel the guilt that should be
In your head
On your shoulders
For not missing what I never had