Set in snow

4 Comments

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  • Life

    Set in snow

    The snowflakes fall on the fields and folk

    Gently killing everything

    It’s hard to forget all those words we spoke

    And lovely lies we used to sing

     

    Working my way across the waste

    Falling apart quite subtly

    My tracks in the snow are being erased

    By forces of fundamental futility

     

    Snow melts underneath my boot

    And I don’t know where I’m going

    The past is for nostalgia to loot

    The perfect burden of never knowing

     

    A lifetime’s worth of complication

    Agents of regret embitter my retreat

    After every imaginable contemplation

    I’m still as adamantly incomplete

     

    Nothing lasts too long

    This at least I know

    Christ is dead and gone

    And my legacy’s set in snow

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    winterkou commented on Set in snow

    02-18-2011

    Your words really seem to just caress the page , and flows ever so nice and sweetly.
    Reply to Comment

    RHPeat commented on Set in snow

    01-10-2011

    Nice use of metaphor here with snow as a boundary or an obstacle of imprinted coldness. You might find in the future that your rhythm might not be so stilted or abrupt if you learn to write through the rhymes into the next line. This will also allow you to enjamb the lines and create and evener progression within the contextual flow of the poem/ Rhythm within the lines. Not ever line has to end-stop. A poet friend// RH Peat
    Reply to Comment

    carynontherhine commented on Set in snow

    01-10-2011

    Christ is alive and helping you pull through this. Remember the foot prints. When you most needed me I carried you that is why their were not footprints. I thought this write was somewhat sad but put together amazingly and much talent. Hugz
    Reply to Comment

    stigbohnolsen

    01/10/2011

    I intended it to reflect on winter depression and as such should be unapologetic and of absolute despair. Thanks for the comment! :)

    Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.

    Unknown Source

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