That Won't Be Us

1 Comments

Tags:
  • Love
    • MLynna
    • is unsure if the poetry I've written lately is too angsty/private/poorly written to post or not. Hmmmm.

    Poem Commentary

    I know this is really long and the rhyming pattern is funky and confused and sometimes nonexistant, but I just love it because it tells a story of hope in the midst of despair, of a picture of God's love when it feels like love is impossible.

    That Won't Be Us

    The phone rings on his nightstand

    in the middle of the night.

    She's calling 'cause she just cant stand

    listening to her parents fight.

    Momma says she's leaving,

    Daddy wants a divorce.

    Now her car is weaving off

    as he stands on the front porch

    and their baby daughter cries,

    sobbing into the phone.

    Just 16, she wants to die

    or to not feel so alone.

    He tells her the only thing

    she wants to hear...

    Baby I love you forever

    and I'm always gonna treasure

    every moment, every minute,

    and I won't take you for granted.

    I won't make you cry

    and even when we fight,

    I'll always be your lover,

    friend, protector, no other.

     

    We're not gonna hurt each other

    for any kind of reason.

    We're gonna work together

    and give every moment meaning.

    We're not gonna hurt each other,

    baby that won't be us

     

    And as she held the phone up to her ear

    in the middle of the night,

    he told her what she needed to hear,

    he said “It's gonna be alright.”

    Just a few short years later

    looking out the window,

    he's working as a waiter,

    weekends at the rodeo.

    His phone rings, just like old times.

    He opens it up and then

    sets everything else aside.

    She's all that matters to him.

    And he tells her once again...

     

    Baby I love you forever

    and I'm always gonna treasure

    every moment, every minute,

    and I won't take you for granted.

    I won't make you cry

    and even when we fight,

    I'll always be your lover,

    friend, protector, no other.

    We're not gonna hurt each other

    for any kind of reason.

    We're gonna work together

    and give every moment meaning.

    We're not gonna hurt each other,

    baby that won't be us

     

    One day she calls him up on her lunch break

    'cause she just needs to rant.

    She's taken about all she can take

    wants to carry on, but she just can't.

    As she pours her heart out over the phone

    he says, “baby where are you?”

    In fifteen minutes she's not alone

    and he knows just what to do.

    He gets down on one knee

    fumbles with the box and then

    when he finally gets out the ring

    he asks her to marry him.

    He looks into her eyes and says,

     

    Baby I love you forever

    and I'm always gonna treasure

    every moment, every minute,

    and I won't take you for granted.

    I won't make you cry

    and even when we fight,

    I'll always be your lover,

    friend, protector, no other.

    We're not gonna hurt each other

    for any kind of reason.

    We're gonna work together

    and give every moment meaning.

    We're not gonna hurt each other,

    baby that won't be us.

    Poem Comments

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    jscottkemp commented on That Won't Be Us

    02-26-2010

    I like this one. I think you should work on the scansion, but I like it anyway.

    MLynna

    03/03/2010

    Thanks. I like it too... and one person I showed it to said it should be made into a song. :) It was a nice compliment. The meter is a little funky, yes, but that's ok. You'll live. :D

    Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

    MLynna’s Poems (18)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
    That Won't Be Us 0
    That Won't Be Us 1
    Where Do I Turn? 1
    Friend 2
    High Standards 3
    Mysteries of Life 2
    Who We Are 0
    Pieces 1
    What I Know (acrostic) 2
    Hard to Believe 3
    One Of Those Days 3
    Sometimes 1
    My Story's Ending 3
    I Am Here 2
    Yesterday 1
    Inside a Debaters Head 2
    A Mouse 0
    Guitars 1