Baby's First Diary

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    Baby's First Diary

    November 13th:
    Dear diary. Just came into the world a few hours ago.
    Thought I'd get started on this diary early.
    Still pretty tired from the move.
    Feeling kind of grouchy and surly.

    November 17th:
    Everyone talks to me like I'm an idiot. 
    Goo goo gaa gaa? What is that?
    I enjoy my mother's milk, but it's a natural laxative to me. 
    Not eating yet, I want to lose some of this baby fat.

    December 1st:
    I discovered this amazing appendage.
    Dad says it's my leg (and hell) I am raising.
    I can put it all the way to my mouth.
    Not bragging, but my range of motion is amazing.

    December 25
    People keep talking about a king child born today
    Mention of this baby Jesus really makes me wince.
    He may be the King of all mankind.
    But in this house, I am the only prince.

    January 1st
    Brought in the new year with a full diaper and a fine whine.
    Ended the day with a lovely oil massage from mother.
    Dad fed me 2 cups of pureed peaches and cream.
    Thank you sir, may I have another.

    April 19
    Some older kid of four took my favorite toy.
    So I put the punk in his place.
    He learned a lesson, you touch my stuff,
    I vomit curdled milk all over your face.

    June 13
    I may be over reacting, but Mother seems upset.
    I said Dad's name first this week.
    Sorry Mother, I just sort of blurted it out by mistake.
    Next time I may have to think before I speak.

    August 15
    Mom scolded me today, said I was "acting like a diva".
    Hey! You have to stay true to who you are.
    But, if you make certain demands for food and drinks.
    People call you a rock star.

    November 13
    Happy Birthday to me, where's my cake?
    So far so good, but I do have one little fear.
    Life is going so fast. By the time I turn two,
    I will have doubled my age in one year!







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    blueberry commented on Baby's First Diary

    05-27-2010

    LOL. This is really amusing to read. I like the way you creatively wrote from a baby's point of view.

    Poetry is finer and more philosophical than history; for poetry expresses the universal, and history only the particular.

    Aristotle (384 BC-322 BC) Greek philosopher.

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