Things My Mother Never Taught Me

2 Comments

Tags:
  • Humor

    Things My Mother Never Taught Me

     Things My Mother Never Taught Me
    by brianlion

    Some people try to remember.
    Some people try to forget.

    Some people live to eat.
    Some people eat to live.

    The best things in life are free.
    The best things in life are expensive.

    I have been poor, and I have been rich.
    Rich is better.

    Too much of a good thing is... wonderful.

    Daylight savings time is a waste of time.

    Never take a laxative and a sleeping pill at the same time.

    Sex is not the answer.  Sex is the question.
    Yes is the answer.

    There are two types of music.
    Good and bad.

    There are three types of people.
    Super Human, Human, and Sub Human.

    So far, this is the oldest I have ever been.

    8 Tracks, cassettes, and vinyl albums are on the way out.
    I'm keeping them anyway.

    I do not have a fear of heights.
    I have a fear of falling down from heights.

    Vegetarians are allowed to eat animal crackers.

    I have always wanted to be a somebody.
    I just should have been more specific.

    Someone asked me if I ever had amnesia.
    I told them I couldn't remember.

    Poem Comments

    (2)

    Please login or register

    You must be logged in or register a new account in order to
    leave comments/feedback and rate this poem.

    Login or Register

    Skite commented on Things My Mother Never Taught Me

    10-30-2009

    Hello, thanxs for that humor, I need it! Always a joy to read your work, no wonder I eat animal crackers, luv it!!
    Reply to Comment

    mamasan commented on Things My Mother Never Taught Me

    10-29-2009

    Yes, there is humor in this poem. It is a subtle humor and though the verses are sparse; I found myself going back to reread and dwell a bit and though I used the word sparse.....it is deep.....and got the juices in my brain going. Definitely this poem challenged my senses, without even trying. If, I may intrude on the title to this poetry.......it is obvious you inherited a lot of charm.
    Reply to Comment

    Brianlion

    10/29/2009

    It was wonderful to hear from you.

    Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It's that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that's what the poet does.

    Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997) U.S. poet.

    Brianlion’s Poems (81)

    Title Comments Submitted
    Title Comments Submitted
    Waste No Time Reading This 0 09/28/2010
    One Last Dance 1 06/11/2010
    woRk iN ProGresS 0 05/22/2010
    My Song of Songs 1 05/22/2010
    There Is No Almost Heaven 1 05/14/2010
    My Last Wish 1 05/13/2010
    there was a time 1 05/12/2010
    Baby's First Diary 1 05/10/2010
    This Is What Happens When Cousins Marry 0 05/10/2010
    Welcome to the Last Day of the Rest of My Life 0 05/08/2010
    Because Of You, There is Us 1 05/08/2010
    Life (Or Something Close To It) 2 05/08/2010
    Suicide Soliloquy 0 04/29/2010
    When Nature Calls 2 01/24/2010
    I WAS JUST WONDERING 0 01/07/2010
    Reading This will Cost You. 1 12/31/2009
    My Future Ex Girlfriend 0 12/31/2009
    THIS IS NOT MY LIFE 0 11/20/2009
    MY LIFE SO FAR 1 11/21/2009
    I HATE POSITIVE PEOPLE 1 11/12/2009
    The Luck Of The Irish 1 11/19/2009
    Things My Mother Never Taught Me 2 11/12/2009
    JOHN LENNON 0 11/10/2009
    I KNEW I WAS IN TROUBLE 1 11/10/2009
    The Opportunity Is There 1 11/27/2009
    The Dark Light 1 10/15/2009
    To My Friend 1 10/14/2009
    I Lost Control Of This Poem Early 5 10/14/2009
    I Need Some Answers 0 10/14/2009
    I Can't Wait To Read The Story of My Life 0 10/14/2009
    I Think Therefore I Think (I Think) 0 10/14/2009
    Amen and Amen 1 09/22/2009
    I MISS US, I MISS YOU 1 09/27/2009
    I'm 50- What Does It All Mean? 2 09/11/2009
    How Blessed I Am 0 09/10/2009
    This Is Not A Poem 4 09/16/2009
    You Decide 1 09/08/2009
    Now 1 09/11/2009
    You Will Always Be My Baby 2 09/09/2009
    You Will Always Be My Son 0 09/09/2009
    Pray Everyday 1 09/10/2009
    Broken Flower 0 08/15/2009
    BECAUSE I LOVE YOU STUPID 0 08/06/2009
    EVERYTHING ELSE, I MEANT THOUGH 0 08/06/2009
    GOOD DAY FOR A HANGING 0 08/20/2009
    Remembering Elvis 2 08/06/2009
    IMPORTANT TRIVIA 0 08/16/2009
    The Elephant Sitting In Your Living Room 0 09/11/2009
    A PICTURE OF YOU 2 09/09/2009
    LET ME THANK EVERY SOLDIER 1 07/30/2009
    I Want To Live Forever. So Far So Good 2 10/28/2009
    What I Need 4 07/30/2009
    Questions With No Answers 1 07/28/2009
    Emptying My Head Again 0 09/11/2009
    ORIGINAL POETRY DOT CALM 2 07/27/2009
    the nothingness of nothingness 0 08/03/2009
    Choices 0 10/15/2009
    MY LIFE 0 07/25/2009
    THE WHISPER OF A BUTTERFLY 0 08/23/2009
    YOUR BODY AND MY SOUL 1 07/25/2009
    SOMEWHERE UNDER THE RAINBOW 0 07/26/2009
    GRANDDAUGHTER 0 10/28/2009
    MELISSA 0 07/30/2009
    PATTI 0 08/06/2009
    I JUST FOUND OUT 0 09/11/2009
    MY EX GIRLFRIEND 0 07/20/2009
    REALITY 0 07/20/2009
    ODE TO MY MOTHER 1 07/20/2009
    WHO NEEDS ENEMIES? 0 08/15/2009
    LET ME COUNT THE WAYS 1 09/08/2009
    A SIMPLE CONVERSATION 0 11/20/2009
    FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE 0 07/24/2009
    Secret Admirer 1 07/27/2009
    EVERYONE SAYS I LOVE YOU 2 07/15/2009
    MELISSIOUS 0 07/30/2009
    IF 2 08/31/2009
    FATAL VISION 1 07/15/2009
    IVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE YOU 0 07/08/2009
    I DEDICATE MY LIFE TO LOVING YOU 3 07/08/2009
    SHE IS MY MUSIC 2 08/26/2009
    I AM 3 07/02/2009
    Top of Page