one last shot

22 Comments

one last shot

Six feet down, stuck in a hole.
life gave you a dream you couldn't control.
you gave all you had so happy so sad.

you tried your best to conquor the quest.
you lived life to the fullest, lived in the dream.
now all you can do is let out a scream.

you lie in the dark reflecting on life.
the pain the suffering the joy and the strife.
was it worth it at all to give all you had.
when all you got was nothing but bad.

it seems lifes journey wsa much to short.
all the pain and the heartache nothing good
to report.

yet in all this memories you remember some good.
the laughter the smiles the crying and tears.
your family who loved you now lives through the years.
wondering if you will remember them and all just as you should.

you took your own life, bleeding on the floor.
took it all in your hands you lived like a whore.

now you must face the future in all its glory.
give an account for all you were.
maybe able to tell you story.

give me the strength to try once more.
crawl off the bed feet on the floor.

you realize it was a dream
you sigh in relief
you were left alive given another repreive.

take care with this one last shot.
give God the glory
don't live life for nought.

you have a chance to overcome
don't let it slip by
it will be gone with the setting of sun.

Poem Comments

(22)

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loveswar09 commented on one last shot

12-16-2009

Nice. It was wonderful and beautiful at least to me. Many people don't find semi-dark poetry beautiful but when it's written so well, it is beautiful. =)

MrGee commented on one last shot

07-15-2009

Your poem has very good rhytmn and meter. I like the use of the meraphor "conquer to quest" You paint a very good picture for the reader. I especially like the verse "give God the glory". This poem deserves a high rating.

coolnofool commented on one last shot

07-15-2009

nice i seem to connect well with this on a personal level of some of my own experiences... really well written and i like the substantialness (if even a word lol) of the poem...the bulk of it

UnworthyFather commented on one last shot

07-06-2009

Excellent write, Daniel. Your complex rhyming scheme held my attention all the way through. Great write. Thanks for sharing

DestinedQueen commented on one last shot

07-01-2009

I love the general idea you had but I really think that I could have gotten more feeling out of this if it had a little more form to it. You really have a way with word choice and placement that still offers up a lot of emotion but the odd placements of two, three and four line stanzas takes my attention away from the poem as a whole. However; this was still an excellent write I just think that it may need some time in edit mode. DQ

Poetry is not the expression of personality but an escape from personality.

T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

daniel081180’s Poems (25)

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one last shot 22
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