Screaming

Its like it pierces my skull every night,
This screaming voice says give up the fight.
Its growling louder and louder as time goes on,
As it gets louder, the urge to cut gut gets more strong.
It makes my head pound, makes me want to cry,
But you ask how i am, and out of reflex, I lie.
Oh I'm alright, is what I say to you,
Oh if only this lie were really true.
I would give anything just to be okay,
To make the screaming and the pounding go away.
I only get relief when I cry from my wrists,
But in my heart I don't want to do this.
All I can hear is this voice screaming,
Hearing this I know what you're thinking.
I'm not insane, I'm not schizophrenic,
But it happens when my emotions are hectic.
When I cannot cry, or scream aloud,
I mentally scream, and it doesn't make a sound.
I wish it would stop; its wearing me down,
But the screaming wont stop, it follows me through town.
The throbbing, the screaming, the urge grows so much,
And all I want is for the cool metal and my flesh to touch.
One deep cut, I think that's all I need,
To let me cry, just let me bleed.
As my crimson tears fall from my arm,
The screaming stops and I feel more calm.
This screaming is my razors calling card,
And it won't stop till I'm done, when nothing is heard.