Brian's old cell phone has been discontinued for years.
I remember showing him how to text with it; I recall
How happy he was to find it had a camera and video-cam.
Those were the days when I had helped him forget his early tears;
Tears like those I shed when I too was a teen,
And some people visited on me inexplicable vitriol,
Saying things that were harshly unkind and mean--
And also, as I only realized much later, were a sham,
As false as their lying lips were cruel;
Mocking me because I was so much more intelligent than they,
And always got an A.
But just as happened to Brian, they made me feel inferior;
I understood well the pain in Brian's deep interior,
And I taught him to know he was good, the best I ever met.
Scars form when wide wounds heal; but the depth of pain
I helped Brian to stop feeling, though he could never forget.
And in his new-found self-esteem,
He pursued his dream of finding love.
He met a young lady who led him to believe
That she would marry him; a day he dreamed of.
Brian was a Christian, and she called herself one, too.
I can't know if she deliberately set out to deceive;
But I know the dreams she inspired in Brian never came true.
Brian understood her Christian wish for waiting to be wed,
Before the happiness of company could include a good time in bed.
Sometimes, for a woman, religion can be an effective cover
To explain why she doesn't want to be a good man's lover.
But Brian was willing to wait, and looked happily forward.
And their dates together gave him great happiness,
Seasoned with his dreams.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Recently, I came across Brian's old cell phone,
And I found in it videos he took of his beloved.
His image was there, too; with great joy his smiling face shone--
For with her, he felt fulfilled as a man, and did not feel alone.
Sometimes they got someone to video-record them together;
And a solid loving couple they certainly seemed.
I remember looking forward to being Brian's best man,
When the day would come that they would tie the marriage tether.
I recall how excitedly and happily he talked of her,
And how happy I was for him, that he had found true love.
The best video is the one of them on the gondala; on blue water,
Reflecting the blue sky shining above;
And Brian's smiles and laughter were like a child at Christmas,
After opening the package of the best gift he had ever hoped to have.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
But what had been presented as a seemly Christian wait,
Became for Brian a twisting turn of fate:
Twisting like a knife embedded
In his trusting loving heart that expected to be wedded;
For just like that, she suddenly announced
That she was leaving--moving out of the State--
Words that ripped him as if a predatory beast had pounced;
And Brian smiled at her, through his pain--
Though he was deeply grieved, feeling totally trounced,
Deeply depressed--his new self-esteem shattered,
Feeling he was losing his true love, all that really mattered,
And feeling inferior again, and as if guilty of some sin,
To explain his pain--feeling again unworthy of happiness,
Worthless, loveless, and not fitting in.
Just as, long before, when he was a little boy and a naive teen,
He had been cruelly spoken to, and treated so heartlessly mean.
But he covered it up for her with cheerful words and a forced grin.
He even helped her repair her car to leave the State; and then,
When she had gone, he collapsed--a complete break-down.
I found him in a very bad way, and I helped him to stand again.
But this time, he never fully recovered, he was never fully the same.
But I helped him regain self-esteem, and re-learn the love of life.
Though sometimes I would see him looking sad, feeling bad,
Remembering his happy days of believing she would be his wife.
But he would shake off the sadness, and embrace the days of life.
I helped him; later, he helped me, when I fell
Into the depth of fear and pain, with cancer, a living hell--
Then I helped him again, when cancer caught him too--
I became his care-taker--but then we helped each other,
With a friendship of total trust and mutual understanding and care;
Together we fought off cancer's curse of pain and fear and despair,
And we helped each other stand when one would fall,
And we stood by each other's side--until he died.
We helped each other to be happy, when happiness was hard to find.
But I knew Brian's heart well, and I knew his mind.
I know he would have been much happier--
If his pure love for his lady had been equally returned--
If she had fulfilled the promise of becoming his bride.
I saw and heard the highest height of happiness in him,
In those videos--beaming with joy and pride--
When she was by his side.

==============================
Written by Michael LP, aka PoetWithCancer
aka (thanks to my dear friend Luna Marie) Mr. Poet
Written on Friday, December 2, 2011  1:33 AM PST
49 degrees F.   Humidity: 33%    Forecast: overcast
Copyright (C) 2011 by Michael LP.  All rights reserved
(Copyrighted for my estate)