Gimmy The Beat

2 Comments

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  • Humor
  • ,
  • Life

    Poem Commentary

    If you see a can of worms here, I need to tell you I haven't had a dog since I was ten.

    Gimmy The Beat

    Gimmy The Beat

     

    Salt trucks spread

    wind whips cold

    sun helps some

     

    Cars in ditch

    others crawl

    late March glum

     

    Budget’s gone

    - comes more snow

    where is Spring?

     

    Pregnant cloud

    shopping crowd

    not my thing

     

    This is nuts

    three foot ruts

    cuffs are wet

     

    Hold the door

    toes are ice

    more in debt

     

    Boots are shot

    card still good

    swipe again

     

    New ones on

    sox are tossed

    meet a friend

     

    Heard the news

    Lotto win -

    another friend

     

    Try to laugh

    still surprised

    why not me?

     

    Heavy sky

    where is God

    in palm tree?

    Stroll the mall

    Level off

    Rest my feet

     

    Hear that song

    Drift Away

    drink Island treat

     

    Home I go

    mind made up;

    Lose the bog!

     

    Make a call

    cash is mine

    sell my dog

     

    The friendly skies

    smiling lips

    buckle up

     

    Drift away

    ‘comes my drink

    -half-full cup.

    Poem Comments

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    ginga commented on Gimmy The Beat

    08-17-2009

    Neville, Now this is what I call purist poetry. Succinct in nature, every stanza keeps you waiting for the next one's actions! ginga

    NevillePark

    08/20/2009

    That's so supportive coming from a literary marvel.

    NevillePark

    08/20/2009

    That's so supportive coming from a literary marvel.

    RHPeat commented on Gimmy The Beat

    07-25-2009

    This is the blue if I ever heard it. Tellin' it like it tis. A regular punch and judy show. The short clipped lines are an interesting read, Here the versification has slowed the flow of the poem to an even pace of steps struggling to maintain the forward intent in the content. It is a case where form and content have become the same thing. A walk on the dark side of the daily struggle. Nicely done Neville, good writing. Thanx for sharing it. A poet friend// RH Peat

    NevillePark

    07/27/2009

    I love the ways of a generous man. Thanx for the 10 my friend.

    In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

    Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.

    NevillePark’s Poems (38)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
    They played For Keeps Cuz Time Never Sleeps 3
    FORGOTTEN SOLDIERS 2
    Come by and Pick me Up Lord 5
    RAINMAKER 13
    Reflection 6
    O Son of The Morning 12
    Love Fish 6
    THE ALLEY 3
    UNREQUITED DEATH 6
    Sudden Death 2
    The Poet and The Sea 5
    Dawn 4
    The Journey 5
    Rappin It Up 3
    Poems in Love ~ Edited sayings of Mother Teresa 8
    ON TIME 10
    W- Five 9
    Painter Eleven 3
    Yellow Red and Grey 2
    Nam 4
    FAME 6
    High Rollers 3
    Gimmy The Beat 2
    A KILLER PASSION 2
    Here Fishy 4
    Alive In The Spirit 2
    Bitterness 3
    88 in the Shade 3
    ASLEEP 6
    THE MINUTE MAN 1
    BATS 0
    The River 4
    The Meaning of Easter 3
    Selma 0
    Hells Bells 5
    Fields of Change 3
    In A Yellow Sky 3
    Love Is 17