UNREQUITED DEATH

6 Comments

Poem Commentary

I think this qualifies as a poem about history which is what one lesson requires here at the school.

UNREQUITED DEATH

UNREQUITED DEATH

Vultures on the ridge
Sun is burnin down
Not a livin soul out here
Not no one to be found

Water's looking good
My throat is awful dry
Wondered if that bird up there
Was ever gonna fly

My head is in the flow
Soaking up my back
I'm lookin Middle Eastern
I'm half dead and that's a fact

It's power surges strong
It shocks me back to life
Her face is bouncing back to me
My darling little wife

I'm rolling to my side
As my lungs complain for air
But I'd drown myself a happy man
And prob'bly wouldn't care

Ah my curley headed dream
Would be just a little sore
You'd think she'd had enough of me -
She'll be happy to the core

I thought my horse was gone
Hah! She's found a second wind
And when she's watered up enough
We'll get back at it agin

I kin smell that cooling bread
In the window by the stove
Sweet butter melts inside my head
As we near Connection Cove

I flag the old eighteen
She churns to a billowed halt
Yes I love the rails as much it seems
As a horse's tongue for salt

The boxcar groans and shudders
I can thank the Lord I'm here
Six long days of death defied
Now they're handin me a beer

Ol Daisy's kinda limpin
But she'll make it through all right
The corner field is buzzin
With the cricket song tonight

I see the lamps are burning
And ol sergent on the step
There's revellry beyond the walls
And things not where they're kep

My heart is all a wonder
Is it sun or dessert sands?
It looks to me some cowboy's
Got my banjo in his hands

The  tune I hear I heared before
And Dinah heared it too
"Fee-fye fiddly-eye-o
Someones in the kitchen with Dinah"
... I believe I'll shoot him through!

~ NevillePark 4/10

Poem Comments

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HarverTomsson commented on UNREQUITED DEATH

12-01-2010

Just enough counceit to leave the reader as disoriented as the drover. Fantastic! Harv

NevillePark

12/01/2010

your a pal.

Marsink commented on UNREQUITED DEATH

10-01-2010

You really had me going till the last line when it turned from shades of the Grim Reaper to Great Humor! A bouncing and bold rhythm to push the weight of the story and flawless meter to emote the saga, well told! Applause building!

ArgusWayne commented on UNREQUITED DEATH

05-01-2010

This is a great poem/song that could be developed to fit several genres. Of course, my choice would be outlaw country, but that's just me. Thanks for a trip back to the old West. 10 for sure!

ginga commented on UNREQUITED DEATH

04-19-2010

Neville, I loved this, your meter and rhyme certainly lent to the ease in reading. TY for such a lonely and treacherous poetic story. ginga

NevillePark

04/30/2010

Thank you dear. Tell me, is the title a little off? Does it detract from the content I'm wondering?

ginga

04/30/2010

Neville, I think that this title is fine, it lends a mystic which will arouse the reader to want to know more. ginga

devaamido commented on UNREQUITED DEATH

04-17-2010

I LOVE IT, Neville! You've got lead pipe cinch here, as a country & western song. You & ArgusWayne aught to get together& collaborate. He knows how to do it.

NevillePark

04/19/2010

LOL ... Thank for the encouragement my friend - I'll see about it.

Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.

Unknown Source

NevillePark’s Poems (38)

Title Comments
Title Comments
They played For Keeps Cuz Time Never Sleeps 3
FORGOTTEN SOLDIERS 2
Come by and Pick me Up Lord 5
RAINMAKER 13
Reflection 6
O Son of The Morning 12
Love Fish 6
THE ALLEY 3
UNREQUITED DEATH 6
Sudden Death 2
The Poet and The Sea 5
Dawn 4
The Journey 5
Rappin It Up 3
Poems in Love ~ Edited sayings of Mother Teresa 8
ON TIME 10
W- Five 9
Painter Eleven 3
Yellow Red and Grey 2
Nam 4
FAME 6
High Rollers 3
Gimmy The Beat 2
A KILLER PASSION 2
Here Fishy 4
Alive In The Spirit 2
Bitterness 3
88 in the Shade 3
ASLEEP 6
THE MINUTE MAN 1
BATS 0
The River 4
The Meaning of Easter 3
Selma 0
Hells Bells 5
Fields of Change 3
In A Yellow Sky 3
Love Is 17