"If knowing you is bliss, I'd rather be ignorant"

As I do my shopping she's on display
magazines in racks, gadgets at counters
the video monitor another encounter
colloquially cooking as I begin to check out
"I can take no more" as she begins to shout

I made a Face Book post for my cooking flare
but much to my chagrin they're everywhere
They bashed my casual comment as I did attest
"I'm better by half than her 30 minutes best"

Apparently the RR PR team was hot on my case
they called me a fraud right to my face
with Orwellian delight they monitor every site
and in '1984 spirit they pursued my plight

I know they're trying to fill up 'her' show
30 minutes of cooking but 12 commercials do glow
I simply replied "Do you think we not know?"
"it's crass commercialism that she doth bestow"

The R.R. PR team still trying to dis-grace
"how can you prove it and support your case?"
"If 8 minutes to bake then how do you propose
you can best her by half, less than her show?"

Simple I said "with 7 minutes left
I easily do it"
a prep demon, a knife
and still 9 fingers to prove it

~epilogue by F Paul Fuhr and Judy McNutt

So view this evidence the PR did profess
you saw his cockiness and he did confess
if total fingers he had, he now has less
we won't be held liable, we will protest

The RR-PR team has risen to the test
exposed the fraud invite you as a guest
make mush of your brain in 30 minutes or less
and leave you alone to clean up the mess