Hello, Goodbye

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Poem Commentary

More of my poetic noobery from 6 months ago. I'm personally not so proud of this one, but it's good to share it just so you can see how my writing style has evolved. Hope you at least kinda enjoy!

Hello, Goodbye

Hello

You want my friendship,
Here, take my heart.
Treat it kindly,
Just rip it apart.

Don’t deny,
I shouldn’t try,
To make us,
More than you and I.

You’ll play your part
And I’ll play mine.
You treat me right,
We’ll be just fine.

But no,
You just don’t know
That you twisted,
And pained me so.

I wanted your love,
You promised your heart.
But you held back,
And tore us apart.

That’s right,
You were the blight,
Always saying,
“We might.”

Go on, tell me,
Say I was our problem,
When all I did,
was try to solve ‘em.

Me, your friend?
After that end?
Good luck with that,
Never seeing me again.

Goodbye.

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ImStillHere commented on Hello, Goodbye

07-16-2010

wow... thats... wow. mind telling me the background to this later?

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.

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