humility

1 Comments

Tags:
  • Religion

    Poem Commentary

    I have a whole collection of religiously inspired poems, and these are often the only ones that I use rhyme and meter.  This is one of them.

    humility

    we can't make wind a gentle breeze
    nor keep it at our back;
    we can't have everything we want,
    not even what we lack.
    (space)
    the trip we make is often hard;
    we can't make skies turn blue;
    and sometimes we will be confused
    and not know what to do.
    (space)
    the paths we choose have rain and pain
    and many hills to climb;
    the storms we cause can turn on us
    and hurt us any time;
    (space)
    and though we have some rest and ease,
    the only guarantee
    we have while working through our lives
    is that humility
    (space)
    can help us face our challenges,
    endure our bumpy way,
    prepare us for the dark unknown,
    and take our fear away.

    Poem Comments

    (1)

    Please login or register

    You must be logged in or register a new account in order to
    leave comments/feedback and rate this poem.

    Login or Register

    laydbak1 commented on humility

    07-05-2009

    This is a nice philosophical piece with a decent meter and cadence but, every verse is a poem unto itself with a message not unlike every other verse... The piece as a whole tends to be generic and loses it's intended effectiveness... You might try giving this piece more meaning by inserting something human in it as it's core reason for needing to be said... As is, it reads rhetorically, much like every graduation day, podium stump speech... Just a suggestion...

    linlee

    07/10/2009

    Suggest away, I love it! I can't improve my writing if everyone is afraid to tell me what my weaknesses are. And I can take a hit, so don't be afraid to tell me like it is. Love ya.

    In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

    Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.

    linlee’s Poems (17)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
    My Last Goodbye 3
    The Hate of Man 5
    Get Real 1
    Prejudice 1
    Three Sides of Eternity 2
    Unopened Drawers 4
    A Quick Melt 1
    Keyboard of May Flowers 2
    Spring Brown, the Beginning 6
    humility 1
    Middle October 3
    Middle March 3
    The Pull 3
    New Puppies 5
    after the spring rain 3
    Walking through dusk 2
    Teasel 4