Middle October

3 Comments

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  • Nature

    Poem Commentary

    If you like it, tell me, and if you don't, tell me why.  I can give it, and I can take it.  Are we allowed to rewrite and repost?  I like comments that help me improve.

    Middle October

     days flow fire clear
    sip deep the season
    birds conference loudly
    leaf embers sizzle divinity
    signature of the night
    covenant of daybreak
    (space)
    comparisons, completions
    apple crunch leaves
    aroma rising like smoke
    like incense, like a baby's breath
    surround sound color
    couture of change
    (space)
    Hershey-colored tree trunks
    menopausal October
    season of irritability
    autumn energy-chaos
    re-ignited with scents
    of brown sugar approval

    Poem Comments

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    dragonfly1023 commented on Middle October

    08-02-2009

    love it linlee. October's my birth month and I feel honored by your thoughts regarding this month of the year. your compact descriptions entice the senses. great contribution to P.O.E.T.S.
    Reply to Comment

    laydbak1 commented on Middle October

    07-05-2009

    This is a nice imagery of northern October, the ensuing of winter just around the corner.. I found the use of "like" analogies strung together in the second verse impeded the flow, but overall a good write here... Also, you might try using three periods, or dashes between verses instead of the word (space) to lessen the visual blur, and help the flow a bit... A good write though...
    Reply to Comment

    linlee

    07/10/2009

    Guess what! I've learned how to put spaces between the stanzas! How cool is that? I'm so happy. Maybe I should go through these poems and rewrite them with proper stanza seeparations. Is there a way to edit without having to retype the whole thing? And thank you for spotting that weakness so that I can work on it. I definitely do sometimes over use "like". At least I got out of the habit of using gerunds all over the place. Someone pointed that out to me a while back. This site is so great!

    BDIsernhagen commented on Middle October

    06-27-2009

    I have nothing in the way of help to offer, only admiration. This poem is masterfuly crafted. thank for posting!
    Reply to Comment

    linlee

    06/29/2009

    I've been feeling a little tired and less than my best, so I haven't been here for a couple of days. Then I get back and I find your great comments on my work. Thank you so very much. Whoops, there goes my phone. See you later.

    If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.

    Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) American poet.

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