The Hate of Man

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  • Religion

    The Hate of Man

     The hate of man doth rage and cry,
    And mocketh good men everywhere;
    Each generation surges new,
    Enthralled in Satan's wily snare,
    (space)
    And kneel as some few choose to do,
    In sober, supplicative prayer.
    The Devil never goes unfed,
    When prejudice is everywhere.

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    kdarcy commented on The Hate of Man

    01-23-2010

    Another great write, short yet intense, it covers both the people of faith and not. Well done, have you read my " Shades of Day and Night "? love your work, k
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    BluesPreacher commented on The Hate of Man

    07-05-2009

    I like the rythm and the use of words. Good subject also. I think the (space) can be a bit distracting though. The only real critique I see here is it's not really drawing me into it. Where as using descriptive words and images to place a reader into the story brings them closer to what you are saying. This reads as a personal commentary, which is fine, but for most, wont be memmorable. I think it can be continued in some way to be more expressive taking the reader in word pictures where you want them to go.
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    linlee

    07/10/2009

    I've asked several people how to put spaces in, but the one person who was kind enough to answer gave me advice that didn't seem to work with my computer. I'll keep trying to find a way to separate stanzas. Thank you for your comment. This poem was meant, not only to comment about prejudice, but also that it is often done by people who are hypocrits, those who pray every day, but don't let the touch of God touch their heart. I will work on it. Thank you so much for your help.

    laydbak1 commented on The Hate of Man

    07-05-2009

    This is a very intensely written drama, with a lot more to say than only these few lines would suggest... I'm not sure how you meant line 5 to play out, but I do get the message... Nice write...
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    linlee

    07/10/2009

    Thank you for your comments. I don't know how to get a space between stanzas. I've tried hitting the return button once, then more than once, but maybe I have a problem with my computer that is causing the problem. This is a new computer for me. Anyhow, I appreciate your taking the time to stop by and read. BluesPreacher gave me some advice that I'm going to take to heart, and then maybe rewrite. If so, I'll let you know if I have a rewrite posted.

    wheelsal commented on The Hate of Man

    07-03-2009

    This is excellent and strong. No passive verbs. Not sure about "And kneel as some few choose to do". Like "The Devil goes unfed". Is is passive verb. Try something like Prejudice looms, vomits, bolts, Just a few verbs out of my head. Each isn't need with generation. I broke my rules and did critique but believe me this is only because I love this and you have something very special.
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    linlee

    07/03/2009

    I'll get rid of that passive verb! Thank you for the critique. I'll be reading more of your poetry again soon. See ya.

    If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.

    Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) American poet.

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