Take Five

1 Comments

Take Five

trying to shut my mind down
it's working in overdrive
emotions triggered
i'll have to take five.
this isn't the life i wanted
where's the picket fence?
he tears me down already knowing
there's no consequence.
how did our young love
grow to be so ugly?
aching hearts aren't healed
with a simple sorry.
waiting for the prince charming
i fell for at first
these days are hard to get through
and i'm thinking the worst.

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Sleeves commented on Take Five

10-20-2009

This is a piece of bitterness, worries and uncertainty, but also of devotion, love and hope. The not so strict form amplifies the emotions, but the cleverly crafted rhythm and rhymes are still catchy enough to maintain a smooth flow. Good write!

When power leads man towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.

John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) Thirty-fifth President of the USA

fallenlove’s Poems (80)

Title Comments
Title Comments
We'll Make It Through This 1
Blue Skies 0
you're all i want 1
Save Yourself 0
Past 1
Breakdown 0
Failure 0
Depressed 0
Return 0
Far Away from Me 0
#1 0
Happy Street 0
Loving You 0
Fine 0
cherry pie 1
Bad but Good 0
Present Time, Different Place 0
sO wHat?! 0
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde 0
Corey's Poem 0
Cross to Bear 0
Understand 0
Long Distance Loving 0
Nothing to Fear 0
I Love You Anyway 0
Hating 0
Waiting For Time 0
Calm 1
Failure 0
Losing Touch 0
Slack 0
Love's Not Forgotten 0
Roller Coaster Ride 0
Discovered 0
Waiting On YOU 1
A Ray Of Hope 0
I Love You Too 0
Love's Test 0
Missed Call 0
Missing You 0
Prove It 0
Need You Here 0
you, me, and the truth 0
HANG UP 0
I'm Missing (6/09) 0
How? 0
Naive Child 1
Suicide 0
Flutters 0
Nightmare 0
Fugitive 1
Setting Sun 1
I won't be there 2
Good or Bad? 2
Tarnished 2
Sunny Days 0
A Better Life 1
Finally 1
Uphill Battle 0
Life 2
Fruits of Labor 0
Moving On 1
Take Five 1
Rest 0
bedtime blues 0
Unsure 0
Let Down 0
Fight of the Heart 1
Rocky Romance 0
Twisting Roads 1
Future Memory 0
Two Sides 1
The Faded Day 1
Failure 1
Damn Memory 0
Living Hell 2
This Moment 0
To Survive The Rain 1
Foggy Future 1
Mid-Nightmare 0