DISTORTED

9 Comments

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  • Dark Poetry

    DISTORTED
    I see you through the distorted lens of a tear
    I look away but on my back feel your leer
    I run, out of instinct not out of fear
    You’re a universe away but seem so near
    I hear your voice but I don’t understand
    You ask me a question but I hear a command
    Time ticks slowly and away blows the sand
    I am afraid to fly but more so to land
    I feel your presence as it surrounds me
    When I am wide-awake or sleeping soundly
    While the temptation of sin affects me profoundly
    I pray, I resist, while you continue to hound me
    You think you’re winning but I’ll prove you’re not
    The price I’ll pay I haven’t forgot
    The flames of Gehenna are tortuously hot
    I get lost in a maze as my demise you plot
    I wipe my brow and feel my way down the hall
    I fear that blindness will cause me to fall
    The heat burns my hands as I cling to the wall
    Sanity drips slowly as I ignore your call
    From the world I knew I have been deported
    Against my will the devil I’ve courted
    By your immoral ways I have been exhorted
    I wipe away the tears but you’re still distorted

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    dragonfly1023 commented on DISTORTED

    06-25-2009

    this is just excellent!! the visuals here are haunting. evil ensues temptation and we are all victims of that vice. love it.
    Reply to Comment

    organicchick

    06/25/2009

    Thanks!!! This poem turned out different than what i had intended but i was very excited as i realized the turn it was taking. Thank you for reading and the nice comment. I will check out yours too!

    trocka7 commented on DISTORTED

    06-23-2009

    I found this to be amazing, I really loved all of it! Thanks for sharing this....
    Reply to Comment

    ginga commented on DISTORTED

    06-15-2009

    OMG Organic the quad rhymes are fantastic and enhances the meaning entirely. Great work here. I hope you win the contest!! Ginga
    Reply to Comment

    organicchick

    06/17/2009

    Thanks...I appreciate the comments and interest in my writing. I will read yours too!!

    Reallady65 commented on DISTORTED

    06-07-2009

    As I was reading I was thinking of a betrayal of love, but your writing provided an imagery that changed my interpretation and as I read more... you confirmed my assumptions. Great job! Temptation, consequence and the potential for resilience!! Absolute reality.
    Reply to Comment

    Chrisjan commented on DISTORTED

    06-02-2009

    A very well written poem. The words you craft, in this realistic creation, should be published. This thought, must have been flowing strait from your heart on to paper. I feel, it makes the reader question where they stand. Thanx 4sharing.
    Reply to Comment

    Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.

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    organicchick’s Poems (28)

    Title Comments Submitted
    Title Comments Submitted
    THE WEDDING OF NEVER 12 05/13/2009
    ENDING 7 05/05/2009
    DISTORTED 9 06/16/2009
    HUMAN 8 06/11/2009
    CLAWING 9 06/16/2009
    MOTH EATEN MEMORIES 5 04/20/2009
    THE MORE YOU LOVE 4 04/19/2009
    SUBTLE ARE THE SIGNS 5 07/06/2009
    SHE'S LIKE SPRING 3 04/13/2009
    MUD ON MY SHOES 5 04/08/2009
    JUST CALL ME PAIN 9 04/08/2009
    FAIRY TALE TOLD 3 04/08/2009
    BITTERNESS 2 04/08/2009
    LIFE 6 04/08/2009
    SEED OF LIFE 6 04/02/2009
    SECOND LOOK 4 04/01/2009
    ICICLES 6 04/01/2009
    LOVE DAD 3 04/01/2009
    HANGING ON 4 04/01/2009
    PROOF 2 04/01/2009
    HOLD ME DEAR 2 03/31/2009
    GOSSIP 1 03/31/2009
    BROKEN WING 3 03/31/2009
    A LITTLE LOVE. 4 03/31/2009
    Your Fix. 2 03/27/2009
    A New Season 3 03/27/2009
    The mirror 6 03/27/2009
    The lovely flower. 6 03/27/2009
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