awareness is grey and fuzzy, kinda soft around the edges
but only so we don't realize how hard the edges are
as we prevaricate and justify and rationalize
in order to live there, perched precariously
on the verge of oblivion

have you visited those lofty heights
with hopes held high
and eyes alive
when anything seems possible
and you're dreaming
floating like a balloon
right up to cloud nine

because thats the horrible thing you know
cloud nine is visible
so seemingly attainable
when you live on the edge
of nothing
 
with a familiar voice echoing
from the deep, dark chasm
calling to you
in silent screams
come save me
(join me)
just over the edge

you'll find love there
hanging from it's last shred 
of departed dignity
let it go, there's no point to holding on
cloud nine is a mirage
an after-image
etched on sightless eyes
deceiving your believing
on the edge of nothing

and your balloon popped
a long, long time ago
but you're still clutching at the string
swinging it up, up, up
as though it's shredded remains will somehow reinflate
up there, alone
on the edge of nothing

if you just believe hard enough
that irrevokable actions can be erased
that you can reopen trusts gate
and that your heart is safe
on the edge

they suck you down, they hold you down
the lies you buy
because they're closer to what you wish for
than reality
you were enticed by a device
a pretty sparkly story
tailored to your particular brand of longing
that's why it hurts and hollows
with despair and sorrow
your tears fall without sound
over the edge

because you followed your heart
and your conscience
went too deep, too fast
saw what you wanted to
and denied the truth
you were in over your head from the start
and it was never your job
to live on the edge

rescuing suicidal dreams
never thinking of how they'll pull you down
how they long, unintentionally
like a drowning victim
to take you down with them
for being too blind to see
that their tenuous fragility
has already shattered
on the edge

with your dessicated balloon
you fight self-fulfilling prophecies
one-sided, yet assuring mutual destruction
because you, with your purity of heart
and generousity of spirit
and misplaced faith
followed them to the edge
of nothing

throw your dreams
and hopes, the fire in your eyes
your joys and fears
all your tears
empty everything you are
into nothing more than
lifelines flung
over the edge

my friend, I've been there
it's a long, long, long way down
hear me calling from a peaceful valley
I do not want to watch you fall
step away from the edge
it's no place to live
unless you're happy
being nothing
at all

I too once wore the white suit
of armor with banner held high
and charged into that fray
to save the day
but lost all for it wasn't my fight

you can see the tawdy tatters
of all that I once was
scattered at the lip
and down the sides
smashed beyond retribution
in bloody, nightmarish relief
merely rubble
flung selflessly over
the edge

I barely survived
the cost was too high and I've
nothing to show for it
but scars on my heart
and regrets that I lost
so much of my own
edge