Can't Undo What's Been Done

3 Comments

  • ListninEar
  • got scared.....tried to log in from my facebook and it didn't work! I thought the sight had gone down and all my poems were lost! SO GLAD original poetry.com is still up and strong!!

Poem Commentary

This is a recent poem that came to me as I used some advice from Writer's Block Busters, to "write a letter to someone you have something to tell, but whom you'll probably never have the chance."  While the advice giver also recommended putting into third person, I felt rather happy with it after the first try, as the "letter" just kinda spilled out in rhyme.

Can't Undo What's Been Done

I can't beleive
your letting us go,
we were the best thing
that heppened to you

Can't beleive you'll
go on with your life
forgetting about
your family...your wife

she told me you'd given
all that was you
'till the day that
I told you that I'd been untrue

At that point
'twas if all we had died
couldn't move past
the fact that I'd lied

Couldn't forgive such
betrayal of trust
to see your wife only
a creature of lust

Couldn't forgive such
a shot to your ego
It just didn't matter
that it happened so long ago.

And though I tried hard
my efforts backfired
just more of a drain
and you'd already grown tired

I'm glad you've decided
to spice your life up,
live in the moment,
add some wine to your cup

I just think you've forgotten
you still need the main course
spice and wine alone
only make things worse

Coming is the day
we'll sign to make this "gone"
to terminate the marriage
that somehow went so wrong

For us there's no redemption
past the point of no return
so all there's left to ask myself is
"well, what did you learn?"

Poem Comments

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ccslim commented on Can't Undo What's Been Done

09-25-2009

Great write! The content reins in mistakes and regrets to canter through in fluid melody. Nice touch! Note "Believe" in spelling lol it is the only thing I see and an odd vibe with stanza seven and the word "tried" It had my voice high followed with the quick drop low "backfired" . That rhythm felt different hehehe prolly me nasally ahhaha jk.

ListninEar

10/12/2009

yeah, my spelling really sucks and my mother was a teacher too! I'll look at the seventh stanza and see if I can even that out. I'm sure it's not "you" and I really value the constructive criticm. It will only make me and my poetry better! I love the review, it was so professional!

connsk8 commented on Can't Undo What's Been Done

09-22-2009

Hard questions, sad endings,bittersweet memories, never easy, good write about a hard thing...

ListninEar

10/12/2009

Thanks for your comment. I am surprised to find how many can relate to my mistakes and losses. Only thing TO DO is write about it! Thanks again!

hightower92277 commented on Can't Undo What's Been Done

09-15-2009

I like thay, I can totally relate,it's sad but it turned out well.

ListninEar

10/12/2009

the poem I take it, not the marriage! Thanks for you comment!

Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion.

T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

ListninEar’s Poems (44)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Narcisitic Blow Revisited 0
Smoke Screen 0
Parade of Shame 0
Wicked Watch 0
Closet of My Memory 0
It Doesn't Matter 5
False Hopes 5
Ramblings of a Confused Chick 6
The Cry of a Mother's Heart 1
Jenna's Journey 0
Sleeping Beauty 0
Harmed by the Swarm 1
Naked Eyes 2
Creating Women 2
Conclusion 0
Did it Matter 3
Connection 6
Mad at It All 2
Quiet Whisper 0
Perpetual Healing 0
Stranger 1
Broken Heart 1
Dreamer 1
Playing Games 1
Memories 0
Narcisistic Blow 1
Lost Lover 3
Your Wonderful Life 1
Can't Undo What's Been Done 3
Good Friends 4
Un-formed Identity 2
Back Then 1
Moving On 1
Heart of China 0
More Than Words 1
Lover's Quarrel -10
What Words Just Couldn't Say 1
Great Surprise 1
A New Start 0
Betrayed By Trusting 0
Tides 0
Forgotten Faces 1
In Time 1
A New Day 1