The Poison Picked

4 Comments

Poem Commentary

From a line given out in the chat room

The Poison Picked

An apple on a tree seems so small and unripe as she thinks of those foreboding words of warning.

How could something so innocent be left untouched and uneaten.

Though shall no eat of the tree of knowledge the master said, WHY.

What shall happen, his anger unfurled laying waste to our home.

Women you shall not be punished spoke the legless one, be witness to the unknown.

Being so convincing she plucked the fruit and ate the flesh.

In a blinding flash knowledge sped into her mind, she was aware.

Learning of nakedness and embarrassment she clothed herself.

Speeding towards her mate she found him knowing also.

They fell to their knees at the coming of the master, He spoke to them in fury they had never beheld.

Banished you are from this place, your trials and hardship have begun.

They pleaded for forgiveness and understanding, only to have it fall upon deaf ears.

Forever shall you remember these wonderful days in paradise lost because of the poison picked this day.............

 



 

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Charlie23 commented on The Poison Picked

09-06-2009

I like the subject you choose here. The knowledge they gained took away from comfort, as now where all clothed to hide us from shame.

lucky62

09/06/2009

i wish i had spent a little more time thinking about these lines. I wasn't happy with it. Glad you did thanks.....

bforibus commented on The Poison Picked

09-03-2009

i love the thought of this piece. to me it seemed a little mechanical then beautiful. for something so divine. just the thought along should of been awe inspiring but it seemed a little souless. i do enjoy the subject though so good job ont hat.

lucky62

09/03/2009

thanks for the truth I was thinking in a hurry as this one spelled itself out.........

photochick commented on The Poison Picked

09-03-2009

perfect imagery great flow fantastic poem and story as always outstanding how you take one line and form it into this amazing talent lucky great write cant wait to see the next one

lucky62

09/03/2009

I amaze myself sometimes your bucking for a raise on your allowance honey.........

Sydney commented on The Poison Picked

09-03-2009

this is fantastic and wonderful. a great depiction of the fall of Adam and Eve and the tree of knowledge

lucky62

09/03/2009

you started me off bye that simple line you wrote.........thanks

Poetry is finer and more philosophical than history; for poetry expresses the universal, and history only the particular.

Aristotle (384 BC-322 BC) Greek philosopher.

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