Caught Staring

6 Comments

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  • Longing

    Caught Staring

    The movement of your hips entrances me as I watch you leave the room

    Side to side, your manners are mesmerizing

     

    My lust a raging fire, begins giving off erotic fumes

    I focus in, so my memory begins to crystallizing

     

    You glance over, catching me in the act

    So enthralled am I, I do not even react

    Your smile is so inviting, but you’re holding something back

    My vulnerability held in place by just a tack

     

    I try to speak but find difficulty in verbalizing

    Your body now so distant, but your shadow stands so tall

    The sunlight through the trees casts my intentions across the wall

    A taste of your neck, a nibble on your ear seems so appetizing

     

    Disappearing in the distance,

    The musk of lonesome sorrow clouds the air

    Your house of cards hasn’t fallen, but it will

    Until then, understand that I don’t care

     

    Maybe it was never meant to be,

    But still your movements entrance me

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    optimistic commented on Caught Staring

    07-03-2009

    I thought this piece was simple yet gave me the suspense of holding on to something that intrances me everytime they enter into the room this write was brillant to me simply cause the words were so enticing I might read this to others to get there point of view I really enjoyed this.

    SuSpence

    07/03/2009

    Thanks for the great comments optimistic, it means a lot coming from you I really respect your work. If you read it to others I would love to hear thier response/reaction. Thanks, Spence

    lois2lane245 commented on Caught Staring

    06-10-2009

    youuuuuuuuuuuuuuareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeegooddddddddddddddddddddddddddok now that left me brethlessand then suddenly i hit the ground confussed and out of breath what is up

    AshRenee commented on Caught Staring

    06-05-2009

    I disagree with kdarcy- sorry, but I do. I love the images you create. Without your thoughts, what good is the poem? Leave it be, I love the poem as is.

    SuSpence

    06/05/2009

    Thanks for your vote of confidence :) Sometimes it is hard for me to know when a poem or painting is complete, as I could tweak it and whittle it down, re-writing, re-painting for months if I let myself. Someone once said 'A true artist is one who know's when to walk away' And I am still working on that. Maybe I will always struggle with that.

    kdarcy commented on Caught Staring

    06-04-2009

    Who hasn't been caught looking? The images need not be spelled out too clear, it might add a bit more suspense. You grabbed the reader at the very beginning, you do not have to walk them all the way ... let them run wild a bit with YOUR words, an enjoyable read, keep sharing with us k

    SuSpence

    06/05/2009

    Thanks for your comment, I can definately see your point about being a little more mysterious and suspensful. I should have put it aside for awhile for a re-write before posting. If you could send a private message with any further advise, specifically relating to 'let them run wild a bit with YOUR words' it would be greatly appreciated!

    Jes commented on Caught Staring

    06-04-2009

    Wow so daring and lusty, Looking sounds so good LOL I wish I was that woman.. to feel that animal prowlness. Just looking breathing her scent.wanting her,, missing her .

    In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

    Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.

    SuSpence’s Poems (53)

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    Mirrored Souls 33
    My Open Broken Heart 20
    Passing Thoughts 16
    Sonnet 1 19
    Ode To My Love 17
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    Procrastinati
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    Miranda's Song 14
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    SuSpence's Dream 33
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    The Tragic Tale of Alejandro Vega 56
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    Fade to White 34
    Ugly World 53
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    Beautiful Poet 10
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    Caught Staring 6
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