Lovesick, Lonesome Blues

11 Comments

Poem Commentary

This is an acrostic poem written for the daily poetry challenge, that turned into a blues song.

Lovesick, Lonesome Blues



Looking out my back window,

O’er cross the fields,

Visions of your loveliness,

Enveloped the atmosphere  (Oh Baby)

So sad & lonely, so sad & lonely, so sad & lonely

I could cry (Blues Riff)

Carried by six,

Killed by but just one,

Love left me for dead,

Oh! - My heart ate the gun

Now I’m, sad & lonely, sad & lonely, so sad and lonely I could cry (Riff)

Everlasting pain,

Silhouettes in the rain,

On my knees in the soil, and I’m, begging for your restraint!

My mind can’t speak,

Empathy’s for the weak, she says,

Baby you’ve given me, these!

Lovesick, Lonesome Blues! (Riff)

Unable to play my guitar, ya keep my soul in your jar,

Even my chords lost their heart , but ya, knew it from the start! Now I’m,

So sad & lonely, sad & lonely, Oh so, sad & lonely, I could die (Riff)


 

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cdeluhery87 commented on Lovesick, Lonesome Blues

04-29-2010

This is just wonderful...aside from the challenge of it being an acrostic...its simply wonderfully written!

thecross commented on Lovesick, Lonesome Blues

04-27-2010

Great emotion used in this piece of pain and sadness, good write

eddie14 commented on Lovesick, Lonesome Blues

04-26-2010

theres a song in there and its a hit LOL. this is writing that hits me in the heart i can relate to sadness pain and lonilessn the blues this was very good

optimistic commented on Lovesick, Lonesome Blues

06-25-2009

Great write not to familiar with blues yet It gave me a since of your hurt and pain yet able to spin that on a chorus good write.

laydbak1 commented on Lovesick, Lonesome Blues

06-25-2009

I tried singing this to the melody of elvis's heatbreak hotel, but it didn't meter right for that, so i tried another standard 3 chord blues progression and i still couldn't make it work, for me that is... bobby dylan might want to talk to you about the title though... lol... a good write..

Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It's that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that's what the poet does.

Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997) U.S. poet.

SuSpence’s Poems (53)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Eyes Of Hazel One 6
Each New Day 16
The Tomorrow Dream 43
What See You 19
Nirvana (Haiku) 13
Sonnet 3 21
The Poetry Of Time 33
Mirrored Souls 33
My Open Broken Heart 20
Passing Thoughts 16
Sonnet 1 19
Ode To My Love 17
Angel With Butterfly Wings 20
Procrastinati
on
16
A Conversation in Appreciation 13
Miranda's Song 14
The Sarasota Blues 27
Highku 22
Tripping Stream of Consciousness 35
Along The River's Breath 51
Sometimes... 37
Transport 34
Love Never Knows 39
SuSpence's Dream 33
Ode to the Beatles (acrostic challenge) 18
The Generation Who Sold The World 30
Christine 24
Glenn Beck (Haiku) Compilation 32
The Tragic Tale of Alejandro Vega 56
Ballad of the Lost Man 32
Gulf of Fire (Haiku) 34
Fade to White 34
Ugly World 53
Searchin' for Love 26
Lost am I 28
Shards of Me 27
The Sadness, 10
The New Moon 18
I Imagine, 13
Lovesick, Lonesome Blues 11
SIX FOOT 11
Beautiful Poet 10
The Morning Sun 5
A Question for Love 13
Realm of Delusion 26
Simply Thoughts of You 9
Caught Staring 6
The Edge of the Headlands 3
In My Mind... 15
Thoughts of Natalia 14
A New Path 10
Daydream 12
Gone is my Sunshine 17