Lovesick, Lonesome Blues

11 Comments

Poem Commentary

This is an acrostic poem written for the daily poetry challenge, that turned into a blues song.

Lovesick, Lonesome Blues



Looking out my back window,

O’er cross the fields,

Visions of your loveliness,

Enveloped the atmosphere  (Oh Baby)

So sad & lonely, so sad & lonely, so sad & lonely

I could cry (Blues Riff)

Carried by six,

Killed by but just one,

Love left me for dead,

Oh! - My heart ate the gun

Now I’m, sad & lonely, sad & lonely, so sad and lonely I could cry (Riff)

Everlasting pain,

Silhouettes in the rain,

On my knees in the soil, and I’m, begging for your restraint!

My mind can’t speak,

Empathy’s for the weak, she says,

Baby you’ve given me, these!

Lovesick, Lonesome Blues! (Riff)

Unable to play my guitar, ya keep my soul in your jar,

Even my chords lost their heart , but ya, knew it from the start! Now I’m,

So sad & lonely, sad & lonely, Oh so, sad & lonely, I could die (Riff)


 

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cdeluhery87 commented on Lovesick, Lonesome Blues

04-29-2010

This is just wonderful...aside from the challenge of it being an acrostic...its simply wonderfully written!

thecross commented on Lovesick, Lonesome Blues

04-27-2010

Great emotion used in this piece of pain and sadness, good write

eddie14 commented on Lovesick, Lonesome Blues

04-26-2010

theres a song in there and its a hit LOL. this is writing that hits me in the heart i can relate to sadness pain and lonilessn the blues this was very good

optimistic commented on Lovesick, Lonesome Blues

06-25-2009

Great write not to familiar with blues yet It gave me a since of your hurt and pain yet able to spin that on a chorus good write.

laydbak1 commented on Lovesick, Lonesome Blues

06-25-2009

I tried singing this to the melody of elvis's heatbreak hotel, but it didn't meter right for that, so i tried another standard 3 chord blues progression and i still couldn't make it work, for me that is... bobby dylan might want to talk to you about the title though... lol... a good write..

Poetry comes nearer to vital truth than history.

Plato (BC 427-BC 347) Greek philosopher.

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