Depression
Dark clouds overhead, boiling, churning,
Lightning flashes, thunder booms, but no rain,
The atmosphere is electric, telling of the impending storm,
Yet the air is still and hot.
Dark feelings in my gut, boiling, churning,
I sit and wait for the certain release, the downpour,
The cool cleansing rain that will ease the tension,
Yet nothing changes, ever.
Dark thoughts in my head, boiling, churning,
Can’t focus, Can’t decide, Can’t think,
I shouldn’t be this way, I’m not this way,
Yet I’m always this way lately.
Dark images in my mind, boiling, churning,
People yelling, angry at me, uncaring,
Nobody understands, nobody’s been here,
Yet nobody will just go away.
So many wonderful starts, no finishes,
So many great ideas, no action,
So much desire for good, all ends badly,
So much for wanting to live.
Never want to hurt others, always hurting,
Never want to disappoint others, always disappointed,
Always want to make a difference, never mattering,
Always want to spread laughter, never smiling.
Why do I always end up hurting myself and others?
Why can’t I face the face in the mirror?
Why is everything that’s my fault my fault?
Why keep going when everything brings anger, frustration, pain?
Nothing new, everything repeats, been here before, before, before,
I really want to be different, but I always come back here,
Anger, frustration, pain, disappointment, sadness, hurting,
Nothing I do works out right, because I do it.
I crave attention and just want to be left alone.
I want to be healthy as I smoke, drink, and shoot.
I need someone to hug me close while I sharpen my quills.
No one will ever hate me as much as I do.
Please login or register
You must be logged in or register a new account in order to
Login or Registerleave comments/feedback and rate this poem.