Not Who I Want To Be
I’m nervous and scared,
My teeth, not bared.
I’m not quite mad,
Maybe just a little sad.
I want to go home,
To a place I’m not alone.
My hearts always pounding,
I need something grounding.
I want to feel real,
Just to be able to feel.
Under my breath I talk to myself,
Instead of putting things on a shelf.
I understand me,
I know who I want to be.
I’m not who I thought,
I’m who I always fought.
Who I never wanted to be,
That’s me.
I’m nervous and afraid,
Making sure I won’t pick up that blade.
The feel sounds so nice,
But the consequence too big of a price.
I feel all alone,
Like I’m all on my own.
I want to be where you are,
Want to be a shining star.
I want to change everything I am,
Because I know it’s all just one big sham.
I’ll cry alone all night long,
Until I believe that I am wrong.
I’m scared to see,
Just what I’ll be.
What I’ll end up like,
What will be the final strike.
What will happen to me in the end,
How will the world bend?
I’m shaky and scared,
Just wish that you cared.
I wish I was right,
I try with all of my might.
I’ll never be it,
Not worth this big skit.
I’m nervous and scared,
I just wish you cared.
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