Why do I feel like this?
What is happening to me?
How do I come back
To Being?
When will I feel fulfillment?
Who am I right now?
I feel like a distant
Shadow of myself
Great pain, intense misery
Its taking all of the shreds
Of the sane part of me that remains
Not to yank the wheel
Of my car into a tree
Or off a bridge
While I am driving
It is only this small
And weakening sliver
Of the me that can think straight
That is keeping me from
Putting the barrel of a
Loaded gun into my mouth
Bang! All done, let me go
And I feel like nobody loves me
Nobody cares
Nobody really cares
It all feels so pointless
And I am all alone
In my world that feels stranded
Like a planet in deep space
Without another in sight
And the small part of me
That knows this is crazy
And knows that I will
Get through this
Is completely angry with myself
For even having these thoughts
I can't see
I can't see