So I guess I have to
Walk back into Hell
And I call it Hell
Because I know it
All too well
Feel my anxiety swell
It just won't dispel
Shortness of breath
Getting harder to swallow
Thoughts that make sense
Getting harder to follow
And I feel so alone
Forsaken and hollow
Don't know if these eyes
Will open tomorrow
Perhaps that's too severe
Too dramatic, too drastic
Nothing feels clear
And everything feels toxic
Toxicity in all its complexity
Implicitly dreadful
Even in its simplicity
My words swerve
Like a person driving drunk
So am I to walk those
Hot coals again?
Feel the heat of the
Flame of Blame?
Sometimes burns me
Sometimes others I do not name
What's really the difference?
If the feeling's the same
Feel like I'm losing
Want out of the game
What a shame
What a shame
So much shame...
Shame and shadow
Rage and venom
Furious power
I'll take it from them
Can't seem to find the forgiveness
That can release me
Or can't seem to direct it
Back onto me
I feel small and scared
Insignificant and unimportant
A burden to myself
My chest is constricting
Restricting my breathing
My thoughts are conflicting
Deep inside I am seething
Caught in a storm
Where the rain's made of crazy
It all goes hazy
Like I took a heavy dose
Of whacko......