Breaking...Down

2 Comments

Poem Commentary

Critiques are always welcome!

Breaking...Down

Fiddling hand,
Twinging tingles;
Life is reduced
To lines and angles.
Evaporation,
Patterns subside.
Systematics,
Run and hide.
Graffiti lights,
City streets;
Broken fighting,
Shameful defeats.
Out of order,
Days misplaced;
Load the answers
Onto your waist.
The world may turn
But the people wait;
Time may go on
But sealed is fate.

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Chaos128 commented on Breaking...Down

07-13-2010

OK! I'm convinced. After reading "Running After Those Lovely Stars", I went straight to a second work to see if the first one was a fluke... it ain't ha ha You've got a real feel for language!

FadingFebruary

07/14/2010

Oh! Thank you so much for the compliment! I strive to write good things, and I'm very glad I'm getting results!

Tyme commented on Breaking...Down

07-13-2010

This is kinda cryptic. "load the answers onto your waist" Sadly, so many feel this is the answer. I guess this is why so many are breaking down huh?

FadingFebruary

07/14/2010

Imagine a time when all of society and order breaks down into chaos. With that in mind, re-read my poem. That's more or less the imagery I had in my mind when writing this.

Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.

Unknown Source

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