Breaking...Down

2 Comments

Tags:
  • Other
    • ,
  • Abstract
    • ,
  • Fantasy
    • ,
  • Confusion

    Poem Commentary

    Critiques are always welcome!

    Breaking...Down

    Fiddling hand,
    Twinging tingles;
    Life is reduced
    To lines and angles.
    Evaporation,
    Patterns subside.
    Systematics,
    Run and hide.
    Graffiti lights,
    City streets;
    Broken fighting,
    Shameful defeats.
    Out of order,
    Days misplaced;
    Load the answers
    Onto your waist.
    The world may turn
    But the people wait;
    Time may go on
    But sealed is fate.

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    Chaos128 commented on Breaking...Down

    07-13-2010

    OK! I'm convinced. After reading "Running After Those Lovely Stars", I went straight to a second work to see if the first one was a fluke... it ain't ha ha You've got a real feel for language!
    Reply to Comment

    FadingFebruary

    07/14/2010

    Oh! Thank you so much for the compliment! I strive to write good things, and I'm very glad I'm getting results!

    Tyme commented on Breaking...Down

    07-13-2010

    This is kinda cryptic. "load the answers onto your waist" Sadly, so many feel this is the answer. I guess this is why so many are breaking down huh?
    Reply to Comment

    FadingFebruary

    07/14/2010

    Imagine a time when all of society and order breaks down into chaos. With that in mind, re-read my poem. That's more or less the imagery I had in my mind when writing this.

    Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.

    Unknown Source

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