A Voiding thought is all I sought....

4 Comments

  • Altair
  • Don't read me, I am not that good.......

Poem Commentary

the second part to my last poem, pushing away the void so empty...

A Voiding thought is all I sought....

As I gaze, the wind speaks in whistles, hollowing night's dark
My thoughts sway rampant as tumultuous patterned stars
flickering, in marvel of awestruck memories torn
such memoirs burn thus from my veins drawn.
The stars, I scorn for temptations in sight of
the reticence in my gaze, retracts to my heart's core
I saw within this pestilence, disease formed
Then the words, "I love you", vomit from my mouth poured.

Relapsed, walking backwards from the first collapsed effort
thus you appeared as from the memory severed
Paused this seclusion to enjoy the weather
this night presents me with in lonesome measures.
The clouds subtle gesture approaches Melissa
faded yet again as I notice the pressure
upon my frontal lobe, I recall the infection
comparable to the simile, like a swallowed Athena.
Then outburst with spear in hand my skull shatters
she has stopped my heart again, such reticent brain matter.
A tear drops, hits the ground, in a puddle it splashes
I awakened to the visual ripple, it soon passes.

The more I set here, the moor I remember
the darkness so kept tendered in broken hearts
Suffocating moments to movements in stars
I cannot find my shadow, I shan't morn the winter.
On the path of the lovely road, I rest my eyes
upon the strings of guitars is strung a light tune
plays along with the whistle in view of the moon
I hate this as I wipe my face to disguise my third try.

In my moments of loneliness, my thoughts manifest
into the imagery of the darkness I embrace
tasting its essence that shadows my face
confess and misplace for my mind can not rest.
As the stars vanish in the daylight, I'm impressed
how simple the earth can turn its back on a memory
so in my darkest hours I tend to relapse
until the sun shines and hides the void so empty....

Goodbye and farewell for this is the last trial, the last tale of you and I beautifully frail
I cannot keep this up for it's fading away the trail, too late to back this up, you are lost in my temporal....

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knight4696 commented on A Voiding thought is all I sought....

06-08-2010

WOW! I don't know how I missed this one Altair - but I'm glad I found it. The feelings you present are so tangible ..however cleverly draped in your metaphoric ways. I truly enjoyed this piece! Great Job and an instant fave! :) Ken

SuSpence commented on A Voiding thought is all I sought....

04-27-2010

Love this one too altair, it is such a wonderful counterpart to 'pushing away the loving void.' The first few lines hit me in the face, reminicent of Poe in aptitude and style, but then if flows into your own brilliant poetic style, and never disappoints. Another beautiful write. Bravo! -Spence

dreamscape commented on A Voiding thought is all I sought....

04-23-2010

I have to agree with superchick, your delivery makes poems transcend within one's soul. This is a perfect poem to follow the one I just read before this...they are not very different in content, but so very different in how each encompasses my thought. I can tell this woman really put a number on you, for you to give it three tries, if I understood that right, is a testament to who you are in relationships, you want to see it work because you love(d) her, but yet it cannot because it is not meant to be so. So tragic this love story is altair. I hope one day you find happiness, I think you deserve it for what you put into that relationship only for it to fail. for what it is worth, I think you may be as close to perfect a guy without a meeting as my mind can imagine, your poems speak volumes to your composure and intellect. So smile you do have fans and people that love you...

Altair

04/24/2010

my goodness dream, what a terrific comment of compliments. You don't even know me, yet you speak so highly of my character, this welcomes a smile from my face. And it is quite amazing the depths to which you read my work, you tend to notice very subtle undertones and I like that. thank you so much sweetheart

SuperChick76 commented on A Voiding thought is all I sought....

04-22-2010

Beautifully expressed and brilliantly delivered. The flow was perfect, capturing the reader completely, explaining what it is that drove you through such pain of void. And how easily it is to forget such lessons. Perhaps not forget, but long enough to try again. Brilliant, my dear, just brilliant.... Loved it. :D

Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion.

T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

Altair’s Poems (53)

Title Comments
Title Comments
?....? 0
The Builder refused 0
To be my most recent thought 1
I've Said enough to Know 2
I've Said Enough to Mean 2
Just because I like Trees 2
Contemptuous Nonchalance 2
Unearthly Manifest... 2
Like Water for Dark Chocolate.... 2
Impenitent Soliloquy 3
Figurative Meadow... 1
Windows 1
In jam meant to be... 2
Upon My "Death" 5
The Butterfly Effect Set … 4
The Quiet Storm Enters A Room... 2
The Diamond Age of Yesternight..
.
2
A Choir of Angels are We in Poetry.... 10
Dear Love, by the time you manifest this poem, you'll be gone..... 10
On Hallows Eve, Hollow grief as Death I Foresee......
.
12
From blood, death darkens to stone's manifest.....
.
9
The Forest is a Journey In my Darkness complete.... 10
The Wrath of My Titan Enlightenment
...........
7
Unisyghtcles.
..whatever that is...
9
Failure of my trinity...lea
ked was in sanity.
4
A soul is loss....seeks an endless remorse.. 10
Madness exist in her gift..... 7
The London Show at the Tate's Estate.......
.Part two adieu
9
The London Show at the Tate's Estate.......
.
11
I'm Back.... 7
A Warped View of My Inner Sanctum...... 4
What do I see? What do you believe? 9
Lacking in Madness...... 14
Elemental portance in alchemic relevance.. 9
The Calamity of Conformity...
....
13
The Vicarious Rues..... 6
Within this Quill, manifest on the Canvas....Art 8
A Voiding thought is all I sought.... 4
Pushing away the loving Void....... 10
Vessels of ash, Souls thus passed... 4
The Infinite battle from Night to Light....... 5
Trick or treat in the Streets of hollowed teens..... 5
Untitled Breaths... 11
Kharon was the fairest of guides to my fruition.....
.
16
The inevitable of lovers in dreams.... 5
If I could trap you in my vigil.... 3
I emit my lah... 2
An instant revelation of… 7
The crossroads of..... 3
How things change in a moment..... 4
How Angels and Human Inclinations are One...... 5
Frailty begets Strength...C'
est la vie...
5
The conquest..... 11