BREATHLESS Version 1.0 (JL)

7 Comments

Tags:
  • Love
    • ,
  • Emotional
    • ,
  • Passion

    Poem Commentary

    Just a start followed by two more, Version 2 and 3

    BREATHLESS Version 1.0 (JL)

     I stare into her eyes,  Watching her breath,
    Slowly in rythm with my heart,
    She doesn't blink,  Only to look deeper,
    Holding my hand I feel her heartbeat,
    We share a vision, A thought, A truth,
    Leaning forward till our lips meet,
    Soft and sweet,  Lingers foe a second and parts,
    We look at each other,  Not breathing,
    We hunger for more, We are breathless........

    Richard E. Cartledge  PHOENIX   (c)   1/1/10
     A JUST LOVE SERIES   (JL)

    Poem Comments

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    cousinsoren commented on BREATHLESS Version 1.0 (JL)

    03-11-2010

    An exquisite little romantic poetic filigree, delicately, succincly and perfectly crafted by a master. My rating is a full 10, Thank God, here is another American poet who evinces that piunctuation marks are of vital importance, and he knows how to use them. d
    Reply to Comment

    Mareann commented on BREATHLESS Version 1.0 (JL)

    01-05-2010

    To be feel such deep love we feel totally intoxicated, makes us lose our ability to breathe. It's the most rewarding feelong on earth. I really feel your passionin these poems, great writing! mary
    Reply to Comment

    SavVySam commented on BREATHLESS Version 1.0 (JL)

    01-03-2010

    Intensely intimate and quietly personal moments of revealing recognition in each others eyes do leave one in a word.... Breathless!
    Reply to Comment

    Brokeninside10 commented on BREATHLESS Version 1.0 (JL)

    01-03-2010

    ♥ I really like it. As I was reading it, I felt as though I was the narrator, staring into this woman's eyes. Very well written! I can't wait to read the next two!
    Reply to Comment

    kage commented on BREATHLESS Version 1.0 (JL)

    01-03-2010

    nice beginning makes ya want to read more i have been here before well put together
    Reply to Comment

    Poetry is not the expression of personality but an escape from personality.

    T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

    Phoenix9’s Poems (148)

    Title Comments Submitted
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    VISION OF LOVE 2 01/12/2015
    ALL THAT I HAVE LOST 0 08/01/2014
    The SIMPLEST TOUCH 2 2 07/03/2013
    ETERNAL SAND 3 03/02/2013
    I AM MADE OF LIGHT 2 03/02/2013
    SEVEN DEADLY LAYERS OF LOVE 3 07/12/2011
    I'M A COSMIC JOKE? 1 06/30/2011
    TIME AND CONCERNS 1 04/06/2011
    TASTE OF HEAVEN 2 03/21/2011
    THE SIMPLEST TOUCH 2 03/20/2011
    HARSH WORLD 4 03/01/2011
    STRUCK by LIGHTNING 4 02/07/2011
    SPIRAL 4 02/05/2011
    DEAD 13 01/17/2011
    MEMORIES of a TRANSPARENT MIND 13 01/06/2011
    DEATH BY LIFE 6 11/27/2010
    THEY SPEAK TO ME 3 11/27/2010
    DESPAIR 6 10/25/2010
    AND YET TO DIE 4 10/25/2010
    DRAGONFLY DOWNS 8 09/14/2010
    COUNTRY TIME (lyrics) 6 08/08/2010
    YET WHAT IF 7 07/31/2010
    OUR PROMISE TO THE FUTURE 6 06/27/2010
    DESMOND 3 06/27/2010
    QUESTIONS 8 06/09/2010
    A DELICATE TOUCH (JL) 6 06/08/2010
    QUESTIONABLE 6 05/29/2010
    FIVE SENSES OF LOVE 4 05/22/2010
    PAIN and YOU 3 05/10/2010
    WOMEN 2 05/10/2010
    BEYOND REASON 2 05/10/2010
    NO MATTER WHAT 2 05/10/2010
    Defying Gravity 1 05/10/2010
    BREAKING THESOUND BARRIER 2 05/10/2010
    BROKEN 1 05/10/2010
    THE INTERVIEW 2 05/08/2010
    IT'S NOT ME 3 05/07/2010
    DEPRESSION 4 04/27/2010
    COBWEBS 9 04/18/2010
    A LOST PARADISE ( A Fairies Tear ) 6 04/12/2010
    TOWER IN THE FOG 4 04/08/2010
    SPARKS 1 04/06/2010
    LIPSTICK AND SHADOWS 4 04/05/2010
    FLAT OUT OF TIME 1 04/05/2010
    BLACK ANGEL 5 03/29/2010
    SOUR MILK 9 02/03/2010
    A Just Love (JL) 9 01/05/2010
    BREATHLESS Version 3.0 (JL) 9 01/03/2010
    BREATHLESS Version 2.0 (JL) 5 01/03/2010
    BREATHLESS Version 1.0 (JL) 7 01/03/2010
    PERFECT PITCH 2 12/30/2009
    THE LAST PAGE 3 12/29/2009
    INSIGNIFICANT 7 12/28/2009
    LOSER 1 12/28/2009
    DARK THOUGHTS 3 12/23/2009
    HYSTERICAL AGONY 2 12/23/2009
    TERMINAL STUPIDITY 2 12/23/2009
    THE GREATEST POEM EVER WRITTEN 8 12/21/2009
    MIRROR IMAGE ??? 4 12/11/2009
    MONSTERS IN THE DARK 2 12/11/2009
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    What we are 2 11/13/2009
    PREMONITIONS 4 11/08/2009
    AFTER HOURS 2 11/08/2009
    DESPERATE HOURS 2 11/08/2009
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    WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT 2 11/08/2009
    CRESCENT MOON 7 11/03/2009
    BEACON OF THE HEART 1 11/03/2009
    What Will We See 5 11/03/2009
    BOX 5 10/30/2009
    INTENSITY (JL) 21 10/28/2009
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    MY NIGHTMARE 0 06/28/2009
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    LAMBS 0 06/28/2009
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    My Thoughts 2 05/04/2009
    PLEASE COMMENT 3 05/03/2009
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