BREATHLESS Version 1.0 (JL)

7 Comments

Poem Commentary

Just a start followed by two more, Version 2 and 3

BREATHLESS Version 1.0 (JL)

I stare into her eyes,  Watching her breath,
Slowly in rythm with my heart,
She doesn't blink,  Only to look deeper,
Holding my hand I feel her heartbeat,
We share a vision, A thought, A truth,
Leaning forward till our lips meet,
Soft and sweet,  Lingers foe a second and parts,
We look at each other,  Not breathing,
We hunger for more, We are breathless........

Richard E. Cartledge  PHOENIX   (c)   1/1/10
 A JUST LOVE SERIES   (JL)

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cousinsoren commented on BREATHLESS Version 1.0 (JL)

03-11-2010

An exquisite little romantic poetic filigree, delicately, succincly and perfectly crafted by a master. My rating is a full 10, Thank God, here is another American poet who evinces that piunctuation marks are of vital importance, and he knows how to use them. d

Mareann commented on BREATHLESS Version 1.0 (JL)

01-05-2010

To be feel such deep love we feel totally intoxicated, makes us lose our ability to breathe. It's the most rewarding feelong on earth. I really feel your passionin these poems, great writing! mary

SavVySam commented on BREATHLESS Version 1.0 (JL)

01-03-2010

Intensely intimate and quietly personal moments of revealing recognition in each others eyes do leave one in a word.... Breathless!

Brokeninside10 commented on BREATHLESS Version 1.0 (JL)

01-03-2010

⥠I really like it. As I was reading it, I felt as though I was the narrator, staring into this woman's eyes. Very well written! I can't wait to read the next two!

kage commented on BREATHLESS Version 1.0 (JL)

01-03-2010

nice beginning makes ya want to read more i have been here before well put together

Poetry is what is lost in translation.

Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

Phoenix9’s Poems (148)

Title Comments
Title Comments
VISION OF LOVE 2
ALL THAT I HAVE LOST 0
The SIMPLEST TOUCH 2 2
ETERNAL SAND 3
I AM MADE OF LIGHT 2
SEVEN DEADLY LAYERS OF LOVE 3
I'M A COSMIC JOKE? 1
TIME AND CONCERNS 1
TASTE OF HEAVEN 2
THE SIMPLEST TOUCH 2
HARSH WORLD 4
STRUCK by LIGHTNING 4
SPIRAL 4
DEAD 13
MEMORIES of a TRANSPARENT MIND 13
DEATH BY LIFE 6
THEY SPEAK TO ME 3
DESPAIR 6
AND YET TO DIE 4
DRAGONFLY DOWNS 8
COUNTRY TIME (lyrics) 6
YET WHAT IF 7
OUR PROMISE TO THE FUTURE 6
DESMOND 3
QUESTIONS 8
A DELICATE TOUCH (JL) 6
QUESTIONABLE 6
FIVE SENSES OF LOVE 4
PAIN and YOU 3
WOMEN 2
BEYOND REASON 2
NO MATTER WHAT 2
Defying Gravity 1
BREAKING THESOUND BARRIER 2
BROKEN 1
THE INTERVIEW 2
IT'S NOT ME 3
DEPRESSION 4
COBWEBS 9
A LOST PARADISE ( A Fairies Tear ) 6
TOWER IN THE FOG 4
SPARKS 1
LIPSTICK AND SHADOWS 4
FLAT OUT OF TIME 1
BLACK ANGEL 5
SOUR MILK 9
A Just Love (JL) 9
BREATHLESS Version 3.0 (JL) 9
BREATHLESS Version 2.0 (JL) 5
BREATHLESS Version 1.0 (JL) 7
PERFECT PITCH 2
THE LAST PAGE 3
INSIGNIFICANT 7
LOSER 1
DARK THOUGHTS 3
HYSTERICAL AGONY 2
TERMINAL STUPIDITY 2
THE GREATEST POEM EVER WRITTEN 8
MIRROR IMAGE ??? 4
MONSTERS IN THE DARK 2
SNOW SURPRISE 7
STEEL LASHES 12
What we are 2
PREMONITIONS 4
AFTER HOURS 2
DESPERATE HOURS 2
Dead Flowers on the Wall 2
WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT 2
CRESCENT MOON 7
BEACON OF THE HEART 1
What Will We See 5
BOX 5
INTENSITY (JL) 21
THUNDERSTORM 21
ALONE 14
SUMMER comes AUTUMN 7
YET WHAT IF 13
MURDER 101 16
NOMAD pt. 3 5
NOMAD pt. 2 2
NOMAD pt. 1 2
The world is crying 13
DEVOURED (JL) 48
HERITAGE 14
Blood and Champagne (a vampires waltz) 12
PARASITES Pt. 2 & 3 4
PARASITES Pt. 1 3
Reflected 7
Two Worlds 3
SLEEPWALKING 16
some ones son named sam 4
TRUTH 9
NO ONE WANTS TO DIE 5
A LITTLE SHADOW 8
EVIL DOERS 2
A Presence of Being 6
To My Wife (JL) 7
MY NIGHTMARE 0
SILENT END 1
LAMBS 0
FRONT OFFICE BURNOUT 1
MOONLIT 3
All in a Second 10
Shhhh I Hear You 4
Here comes the Carnivores 10
Just a littleTerror 6
Walk on Water 8
Pray for a Nightmare 2
(JL) A Just Love 4
Muckrakers Sweet 0
To Die 4
My Thoughts 2
PLEASE COMMENT 3
Charred Remains 8
Idle Thoughts 7
Hmmmmmmmmm 2
Meaning of Life 5
Enter the myst 6
BROKEN CROSSES 7
DEEP DARK RED 3
To Have and Hold 6
DEAD ZOO 4
True Dreamer 4
Nightmare 14
What is life 4
Do You hear Me 5
Without Trees 19
In the Realm of Forgotten Love 7
Phoenix 12
GEMS 8
Of Love 6
Touch 10
Thoughts 6
A New Job 12
Hourglass 22
Hush 10
So Careless 3
Empty,Emotion
al,Thoughts, Heart and Soul
4
WHISPER 13
Shed a Tear 6
THREE WINDOWS 6
Camel on Ice 8
Destiny's door 10
Laugh and Point 12
Love Prevails 9
Worry Free and Gay 28
Never Enough 19
where do I go 94