BREATHLESS Version 1.0 (JL)

7 Comments

Tags:
  • Love
    • ,
  • Emotional
    • ,
  • Passion

    Poem Commentary

    Just a start followed by two more, Version 2 and 3

    BREATHLESS Version 1.0 (JL)

     I stare into her eyes,  Watching her breath,
    Slowly in rythm with my heart,
    She doesn't blink,  Only to look deeper,
    Holding my hand I feel her heartbeat,
    We share a vision, A thought, A truth,
    Leaning forward till our lips meet,
    Soft and sweet,  Lingers foe a second and parts,
    We look at each other,  Not breathing,
    We hunger for more, We are breathless........

    Richard E. Cartledge  PHOENIX   (c)   1/1/10
     A JUST LOVE SERIES   (JL)

    Poem Comments

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    cousinsoren commented on BREATHLESS Version 1.0 (JL)

    03-11-2010

    An exquisite little romantic poetic filigree, delicately, succincly and perfectly crafted by a master. My rating is a full 10, Thank God, here is another American poet who evinces that piunctuation marks are of vital importance, and he knows how to use them. d
    Reply to Comment

    Mareann commented on BREATHLESS Version 1.0 (JL)

    01-05-2010

    To be feel such deep love we feel totally intoxicated, makes us lose our ability to breathe. It's the most rewarding feelong on earth. I really feel your passionin these poems, great writing! mary
    Reply to Comment

    SavVySam commented on BREATHLESS Version 1.0 (JL)

    01-03-2010

    Intensely intimate and quietly personal moments of revealing recognition in each others eyes do leave one in a word.... Breathless!
    Reply to Comment

    Brokeninside10 commented on BREATHLESS Version 1.0 (JL)

    01-03-2010

    ♥ I really like it. As I was reading it, I felt as though I was the narrator, staring into this woman's eyes. Very well written! I can't wait to read the next two!
    Reply to Comment

    kage commented on BREATHLESS Version 1.0 (JL)

    01-03-2010

    nice beginning makes ya want to read more i have been here before well put together
    Reply to Comment

    A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness. It finds the thought and the thought finds the words.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

    Phoenix9’s Poems (148)

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