Lame Limericks


  • Limericks

    Poem Commentary

    Lame Limericks are those that don't quite meet the formal definition for a Limerick. The last two are the lamest of the bunch and I reserved them for two of my poet friends, Richard and WO.

    Lame Limericks

    There is a state of mind known as woebegone

    In which one feels like an addict on methadone

    The more one tries to feel upbeat

    The more one suffers mental defeat

    And the mind plays on like a gramophone.

    The boys outside the bar appeared rapscallion

    Their actions were downright reptilian

     Every time a girl would walk by

    One would let out a loud cry

    Acting just like an overheated young stallion

    There was an old lady from New Jersey

    Who recently moved to Poughkeepsie

    She met this old fart

    In a local Kmart

    And the two proceeded to get quite tipsy

    Roger was smug and a bit of a grandee

    Others viewed him as somewhat of a dandy

    The girls giggled and downright snickered

    Because they knew he sought entry to their knickers

    But alas, with buttons and zippers he just wasn’t handy     


    Bobby was well known for his generosity    

     But also known for his excessive gulosity

         He would take you to lunch anytime

    But always state “what’s left over is mine”

    And clean the table with the utmost ferocity

    There was this old man from Toledo

    That liked to parade around in his speedo

    The old ladies would giggle

    Watching his sagging butt jiggle

    But it did little or nothing for their libido

    There is this retired gentleman in south Buda

    Who would like to vacation in Bermuda

    But his poem book didn’t sell worth squat

    Now he’s stuck with who knows what

    As he reads travel brochures in his pad in south Buda

    There is this Colorado guy who lives in the Springs

    Whose Windows computer does unusual things

    The damn screen turned permanently black

    So he went out and bought a new Mac

    Now he doesn’t answer when his telephone rings

    Copyright Charlie Gragg, January 16, 2011    







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    rsalassi commented on Lame Limericks


    Thanks for the limerick, Hamp. Did you know that Mark Twain returned to his Redding home from a trip to Bermuda to die?

    earthly commented on Lame Limericks


    Great limericks-humor much needed-TY for the smiles-Namaste...Earthly



    You're welcome. Thanks for reading.

    Madelynn commented on Lame Limericks


    OK- this one really sands out for me; and YOU know! These are actuaaly quite hard to write cleverly- and you just threw out a butt-load!-lol, You Hampton, are the king of entertainment, to this Irish lass, anyways- hugz4you, TJ



    If we can't entertain, inspire or bring forth a tear why would we write? Thank you.

    ginga commented on Lame Limericks


    OMG these are a riot! I was entertained and snickering throughout. Your limericks are lively and worthy! ginga



    ....and they are lame, lame lame. Thank you' I'm happy that you enjoyed them.

    irreverent commented on Lame Limericks


    fantastic write, loved the rhymes - people are funny, in our sad, sorry way - you've really conveyed that here.



    They are funny aren't they. Thanks much.

    When power leads man towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.

    John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) Thirty-fifth President of the USA

    Hampton’s Poems (111)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
    Searching 5
    The Poetess 14
    Nonsense 12
    Solitude 18
    Lame Limericks 14
    Message to Papa 15
    Young Jimmy O’Fallon 11
    The Computer From Hell 18
    Life Ain’t for Sissies 16
    The Mind In Motion 13
    The Game of Poetry 9
    Silence 55
    WordSlinger 19
    Holiday Thoughts 12
    Sweet Mary 18
    From White to Grey to Black 19
    The Reckoning 12
    And All of That Jazz 16
    Today 25
    No Offense, Just My Opinion 16
    Lucky 10
    You’re Only as Old as You Feel 13
    Saturday Night 13
    Political Change? 14
    The Female Gender 17
    I’m In Charge Here, Aren’t I? ( With Epilogue) 10
    I’m In Charge Here, Aren’t I? 7
    Remembering 11
    This Web We Weave 13
    The End 16
    The Day the Clouds Cried 16
    The Path of Life 12
    My Mother Ruth 12
    Humanities Challenge 14
    A Cowboy's Perspective 12
    July in Buda Texas 14
    The OP Poets Parade 20
    The Chatelaine 12
    Shot Through the Heart 17
    Poetry and Fine Wine 18
    The Man What Am 10
    The Final Beat of My Heart 16
    The Rainbow of Poets 19
    A Cowboy's Lament 13
    Of This World I am Not 17
    The Wee People 19
    An Evening at an Irish Pub 15
    The Scent of Love 14
    Fresh News from Buda Texas 16
    Memories of Times Past 13
    The Dance of the Poets 20
    The Confession 14
    Road to Obscurity 18
    Barbara 14
    Shadows 15
    Prescience 17
    Words That Bind 54
    Wondering 26
    New Year News from Buda Texas 13
    We Are All Witnesses 16
    Christmas 25
    A Cowboy’s Prayer 29
    The 9 ers 24
    Love Defined 27
    Tis a Time to Give Thanks 21
    More News From Buda Texas 26
    Choices 26
    News from Buda, Texas 21
    In Search of God 21
    Writers of Poems (WOPs) 26
    Out of the Darkness 15
    Visions from Within the Mist 18
    Baseball 12
    The Night Stalker 16
    The Man I Presume to be Buck 16
    The Sounds of Time 17
    The Little Man in the Green Hat 18
    Blah Blah Blah 14
    One Two Three 13
    Carpe Viam 11
    Love in the Afternoon 13
    The Moth 14
    Lost & Dungeons of the Mind 11
    The Creative Process 19
    The Truth and the Tribe 19
    The Long Wait. 19
    Feathers 26
    The Arrow 14
    Take Two Cialis and Call Me in the Morning 26
    Ghostly Images 16
    Friends 11
    Angels Without Wings 20
    The Rider 16
    Pride and Shame 18
    The Winning Poet is.... 21
    Memories 13
    Politicians 67
    Your Mailbox Is Empty 18
    God's Visit 17
    Poets and Poems 20
    Love Thy Neighbor 13
    Renewal 8
    The Roar of Silence 17
    Blessed Are These Days 4
    Time and Space 5
    Life's Journey 8
    Gift To The Fallen 16
    Hunger 21
    The Antique Shop 30