The Computer From Hell

18 Comments

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  • Angst
  • ,
  • Humor

    Poem Commentary

    For my good friends Richard and WO who are beset with such frustrations from time to time.

    The Computer From Hell

     

    As one might guess it came in a black shiny case

    Everything appeared normal and in its proper place

    I plugged it in and I could tell from its first electrifying groan

    That this computer was trouble and a purchase I would bemoan

     

    Up popped the Windows Welcome just as you would expect

    The screen warm and inviting to gain ones’ utter respect

    I initiated IE and went straight to the net

    I was exuberant. I was surfing. This was a total no sweat.

     

    Then without warning the electrifying groan came wafting through 

    The screen flashed many colors and then turned a dark blue

    A single simple message appeared that gave me a real fright

    “Unrecoverable error” was the message no further explanation in sight

     

    Having been given no clue to the problem I did a reboot

    And the bad-tempered computer wouldn’t compute

    It hummed and it hawed and finally relit up the screen

    “Reload Windows” the screen flashed and then turned olive green

     

    I yanked the cord from its plug to silence the cantankerous beast

    Plugged it back in and waited, fearing the worst to say the least

    To my utter surprise it booted right up, only to crash in the next moment

    Proclaiming “Page Fault” as it shut down so to continue its torment

     

    I let it sleep overnight and expecting nothing but strife 

    I pushed the start button and held my breath as it sputtered to life

    The disk whirled and the fans roared, lights flashing all around

    It sang its final swan song and then made not a sound

     

    The services were beautiful, attended by all my close friends

    The eulogy was long, a litany of geeky odds and ends

    No casket was required, just a match to initiate the light

    A long fuse, a steady hand and three sticks of dynamite

     

    ©Copyright Charlie Gragg Jan 5, 2011.      

    Poem Comments

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    Madelynn commented on The Computer From Hell

    02-01-2011

    Oh Im lovin' this one!!- Hey i think your computer and my computer should go bowling sometime... lol- I dont even DO the computer thing, and this is my third one in 8yrs- lol.. hey ya got an extra dynamite layin' around- this ones been coughing lately- lol, either THAT or the damn thing figured out how to laugh at me, finally! lol- love this Hampton!!- TJMaddi

    Hampton

    02/01/2011

    I am pleased that brought forth a chuckle or two. It was actually about a friend of mine's new computer that he paid $1000 for and it refused to run without bombing out daily. He bought a new one and passed the Computer from Hell to me and I am in the process of driving out the devils that reside therein.

    TinaD commented on The Computer From Hell

    01-15-2011

    I can totally relate to this poem! Computers are so great but when they fail to cooperate I feel like banging them against the wall till all of their insides hang out. Great read.

    Hampton

    01/15/2011

    We all suffer the frustration you describe. Thanks for the comments.

    Artie commented on The Computer From Hell

    01-13-2011

    LOL- this is a fantastic write!! I hate it when it happens to anyone, but this read was totally enjoyable.

    Hampton

    01/13/2011

    Might I hear you release a blood thirsty laugh? Thanks for dropping by to read.

    LenaM commented on The Computer From Hell

    01-13-2011

    by the way this is going into my favs to cheer me up when I'm down ty ty ty

    Hampton

    01/13/2011

    Great!. Enjoy it again and again at your leisure

    LenaM commented on The Computer From Hell

    01-13-2011

    oh yes yes yes !!!!! what a belly buster this was for me to read lmao and will be all day I think lol

    Hampton

    01/13/2011

    Thank you very much. I am glad you enjoyed it.

    LenaM

    01/13/2011

    even more so because most of us have gone through this lol

    Poetry is not the expression of personality but an escape from personality.

    T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

    Hampton’s Poems (111)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
    Searching 5
    The Poetess 14
    Nonsense 12
    Solitude 18
    Lame Limericks 14
    Message to Papa 15
    Young Jimmy O’Fallon 11
    The Computer From Hell 18
    Life Ain’t for Sissies 16
    The Mind In Motion 13
    The Game of Poetry 9
    Silence 55
    WordSlinger 19
    Holiday Thoughts 12
    Sweet Mary 18
    From White to Grey to Black 19
    The Reckoning 12
    And All of That Jazz 16
    Today 25
    No Offense, Just My Opinion 16
    Lucky 10
    You’re Only as Old as You Feel 13
    Saturday Night 13
    Political Change? 14
    The Female Gender 17
    I’m In Charge Here, Aren’t I? ( With Epilogue) 10
    I’m In Charge Here, Aren’t I? 7
    Remembering 11
    This Web We Weave 13
    The End 16
    The Day the Clouds Cried 16
    The Path of Life 12
    My Mother Ruth 12
    Forever–ast
    er
    11
    Humanities Challenge 14
    A Cowboy's Perspective 12
    July in Buda Texas 14
    The OP Poets Parade 20
    The Chatelaine 12
    Shot Through the Heart 17
    Poetry and Fine Wine 18
    The Man What Am 10
    The Final Beat of My Heart 16
    The Rainbow of Poets 19
    A Cowboy's Lament 13
    Of This World I am Not 17
    The Wee People 19
    An Evening at an Irish Pub 15
    The Scent of Love 14
    Fresh News from Buda Texas 16
    Memories of Times Past 13
    The Dance of the Poets 20
    The Confession 14
    Road to Obscurity 18
    Barbara 14
    Shadows 15
    Prescience 17
    Words That Bind 54
    Wondering 26
    New Year News from Buda Texas 13
    We Are All Witnesses 16
    Christmas 25
    A Cowboy’s Prayer 29
    The 9 ers 24
    Love Defined 27
    Tis a Time to Give Thanks 21
    More News From Buda Texas 26
    Choices 26
    News from Buda, Texas 21
    In Search of God 21
    Writers of Poems (WOPs) 26
    Out of the Darkness 15
    Visions from Within the Mist 18
    Baseball 12
    The Night Stalker 16
    The Man I Presume to be Buck 16
    The Sounds of Time 17
    The Little Man in the Green Hat 18
    Blah Blah Blah 14
    One Two Three 13
    Carpe Viam 11
    Love in the Afternoon 13
    The Moth 14
    Lost & Dungeons of the Mind 11
    The Creative Process 19
    The Truth and the Tribe 19
    The Long Wait. 19
    Feathers 26
    The Arrow 14
    Take Two Cialis and Call Me in the Morning 26
    Ghostly Images 16
    Friends 11
    Angels Without Wings 20
    IN MY OWN WORDS 13
    The Rider 16
    Pride and Shame 18
    The Winning Poet is.... 21
    Memories 13
    Politicians 67
    Your Mailbox Is Empty 18
    God's Visit 17
    Poets and Poems 20
    Love Thy Neighbor 13
    Renewal 8
    The Roar of Silence 17
    Blessed Are These Days 4
    Time and Space 5
    Life's Journey 8
    Gift To The Fallen 16
    Hunger 21
    The Antique Shop 30