The Female Gender

17 Comments

Poem Commentary

Just a ittle levity with a serious twist

The Female Gender

 

I recently picked up a magazine and upon looking inside

I spied an article entitled “Getting in touch with one’s feminine side”

Being a life-long believer in all types of exploration

I read on and was soon filled with tons of illumination

It seems that when it comes to sensitivity and caring

I was missing a lot when it comes to loving and sharing

So I made a commitment to give it a good try

And promised for one day to bid my male ego goodbye

The first hour was hard and my resolve was almost not enough

As an itch came upon me and I fought against scratching my stuff

I visited the bathroom and instead of striking the male pose

I lowered the lid, sat down and… the rest I cannot disclose

Suffice it to say that I found the water quite cold

And I imagine I was what you might call “a sight to behold”

Needing a big mug of coffee to stabilize my nerves

I opted instead for a cup of tea and some strawberry preserves

Instead of guzzling it down and letting out a loud burp

I daintily brought the cup to my lips and took a small slurp

I turned on the TV with thoughts of watching some football

But instead tuned to Oprah and settled in to watch it all

I fell asleep within minutes after Oprah gave away 100 cars

And awoke to some guy from India peddling solid wood sitars

It was now time for dinner, steak, fries and beer sounded just fine

But instead I opted for a 100 calorie salad and a small glass of wine

Now my day is over and my exploration is coming to a close

        And I have mixed feelings about bidding my feminine side adios

Being a male provides some freedoms that are great I suppose

Like not wearing bras and those dreaded panty hose

But there is a lot to be said about the woman’s gentle touch

Her softness mixed with unrelenting determination and such

So all you tough guys out there set aside the macho window dressings

Tell her you love her tonight and count your many many blessings.

 

©Copyright Charlie Gragg, October 15, 2010     

 

 

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Oblaidon commented on The Female Gender

10-25-2010

Yes, I really like this one. Bravo! I few good chuckles in this one. Thanks, :)

Springsize commented on The Female Gender

10-19-2010

Ah yes, Hampton, another light hearted view ... and it has always been a pleasure to find your poems.... as with this one, a bit of humor, irony, the caring to entertain the idea of "the other gender" and their day... now I'm thinking of Rosie the Welder, during WWII as compared to the ladies who either work and watch recorded oprah at 10:30 on sleepless nights, or fall asleep [as you did, on the couch, during the day] from afternoon oprah... I never fit into either category, but it was fun to relive "the norm" of female behavior for many women of the 90's.... tea and strawberry preserves is sooo cool...so that one hit right on.

Hampton

10/19/2010

Thank you. Your comments indicate a clear understanding of the levity and complexity that is man versus woman.

Stryx commented on The Female Gender

10-19-2010

Ah, Hampton - a leopard does not change his spots, or a worm his sex - Oh, I guess that's wrong. Anyway,a delightful read, Mr. C.

Hampton

10/19/2010

Thank You kind sir.

Madelynn commented on The Female Gender

10-18-2010

Yah! A mans man- being a woman's man.. what a sacrifrice you have made-lol.. now being a woman's woman- well that sounds alil off color,lol- let me fill you in a just a couple details that might help your transistion along.. I am extremly lady-like; and I- would NEVER eat a 100calorie salad, when I am truely hungry.. not much of a steak babe- but- gimme a huge bowl of Irish Stew, and a half a dozen chunks of buttered bread from the oven/or a ridiculously overstated plate of lasagna, or pizza- and I am a happy lass!! Wine?- hmm- not unless there is a holiday at hand.. even then, Im liable to trade that for a cold one outta the fridge when nobodys lookin(and, no glass for me). Oprah??- nope. All I ever acheived watching Oprah, was taking some weird 'How old are you, really' quiz administered by Doc Oz, and finding out Im like 92 with a foot in the grave,lol. Posh Posh! -at least if Im goin out Ill have a beer in one hand, and a full tummy!! lol.. bras and panty hose- well they are the evils of womanhood- but Im a free, liberated kinda gal, will just leave it at that!! LOL! but how your poem ended-Tell her you love her tonight and count your many many blessings, now that I cannot compete nor correct; this is what we want, this is what we need.. this is the only feminity you need worry about! With this in action- You can be as MANLY as you want, and we will still look at you with complete devotion... except when ya dont share the freaking remote!!-hugz, Maddi

Hampton

10/18/2010

Thanks Dear Heart. Your insights have given me new inspiration. Now, if I just knew what to do with it.

Madelynn

10/25/2010

-Take it for what its worth, jump in that GTO, brush your teeth with a finger full of whisky... and for Good God sakes Hampton, leave the womens mags alone, there nothin' but trouble!!! ;) lol, Maddi

Hampton

10/25/2010

Sage advice.

MindNumbing commented on The Female Gender

10-18-2010

This is great Hampton, from the first line to the last. You know us girls appreciate this stuff :) The lightness throughout the poem collides with the seriousness in the last lines to create a a beautiful, level piece of work. Nicely done!

Hampton

10/18/2010

Thank you for the kind comments.

Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion.

T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

Hampton’s Poems (111)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Searching 5
The Poetess 14
Nonsense 12
Solitude 18
Lame Limericks 14
Message to Papa 15
Young Jimmy O’Fallon 11
The Computer From Hell 18
Life Ain’t for Sissies 16
The Mind In Motion 13
The Game of Poetry 9
Silence 55
WordSlinger 19
Holiday Thoughts 12
Sweet Mary 18
From White to Grey to Black 19
The Reckoning 12
And All of That Jazz 16
Today 25
No Offense, Just My Opinion 16
Lucky 10
You’re Only as Old as You Feel 13
Saturday Night 13
Political Change? 14
The Female Gender 17
I’m In Charge Here, Aren’t I? ( With Epilogue) 10
I’m In Charge Here, Aren’t I? 7
Remembering 11
This Web We Weave 13
The End 16
The Day the Clouds Cried 16
The Path of Life 12
My Mother Ruth 12
Forever–ast
er
11
Humanities Challenge 14
A Cowboy's Perspective 12
July in Buda Texas 14
The OP Poets Parade 20
The Chatelaine 12
Shot Through the Heart 17
Poetry and Fine Wine 18
The Man What Am 10
The Final Beat of My Heart 16
The Rainbow of Poets 19
A Cowboy's Lament 13
Of This World I am Not 17
The Wee People 19
An Evening at an Irish Pub 15
The Scent of Love 14
Fresh News from Buda Texas 16
Memories of Times Past 13
The Dance of the Poets 20
The Confession 14
Road to Obscurity 18
Barbara 14
Shadows 15
Prescience 17
Words That Bind 54
Wondering 26
New Year News from Buda Texas 13
We Are All Witnesses 16
Christmas 25
A Cowboy’s Prayer 29
The 9 ers 24
Love Defined 27
Tis a Time to Give Thanks 21
More News From Buda Texas 26
Choices 26
News from Buda, Texas 21
In Search of God 21
Writers of Poems (WOPs) 26
Out of the Darkness 15
Visions from Within the Mist 18
Baseball 12
The Night Stalker 16
The Man I Presume to be Buck 16
The Sounds of Time 17
The Little Man in the Green Hat 18
Blah Blah Blah 14
One Two Three 13
Carpe Viam 11
Love in the Afternoon 13
The Moth 14
Lost & Dungeons of the Mind 11
The Creative Process 19
The Truth and the Tribe 19
The Long Wait. 19
Feathers 26
The Arrow 14
Take Two Cialis and Call Me in the Morning 26
Ghostly Images 16
Friends 11
Angels Without Wings 20
IN MY OWN WORDS 13
The Rider 16
Pride and Shame 18
The Winning Poet is.... 21
Memories 13
Politicians 67
Your Mailbox Is Empty 18
God's Visit 17
Poets and Poems 20
Love Thy Neighbor 13
Renewal 8
The Roar of Silence 17
Blessed Are These Days 4
Time and Space 5
Life's Journey 8
Gift To The Fallen 16
Hunger 21
The Antique Shop 30