Algol Sun

5 Comments

Tags:
  • Life
  • ,
  • Fantasy

    Poem Commentary

    Hot off the presses... Another ferry poem written today on the Ferry to work and back. There are a couple scansion problems to be worked out yet, but the tone is pretty much what I was aiming for. Enjoy the read. As always, comments are appreciated.

    Algol Sun

     

    Beneath the dual Algol sun,
    Beneath the shining sea,
    On the water world of Hydra
    Lies a hidden mystery.
    The mystery that brought me here,
    So many years from home,
    An exoarcheologist
    In my underwater dome.
    This planet has been sterilized,
    As dead as dead can be,
    With nothing left but dual sun
    And crystalline blue sea.
    But here upon the ocean's floor,
    Obscured from prying eyes,
    The ruins of their cities lie
    In ghostly grey disguise.
    And here am I, so all alone,
    Beneath the ocean blue,
    With naught but ghosts and memories
    To tell my stories to.
    Perhaps a giant solar flare
    Just cauterized this place,
    Killed the plankton, killed the fish
    And starved this long lost race.
    Despite the spirits of these dead
    I'm really quite at home,
    For everyone I knew or loved
    Is also dead and gone.
    The pseudo youth of lightspeed flight
    Allowed my journey here.
    It took a hundred earthtime years.
    I found that price was dear.
    My family has long since passed.
    How apropos for me
    To tell the tales of those long dead,
    Beneath their ancient sea.
    Beneath the dual Algol sun,
    Beneath the shining sea,
    On the water world of Hydra
    Lies a hidden mystery.

    The mystery that brought me here,
    So many years from home,
    An exoarcheologist
    In my underwater dome.

    This planet has been sterilized,
    As dead as dead can be,
    With nothing left but dual sun
    And crystalline blue sea.

    But here upon the ocean's floor,
    Obscured from prying eyes,
    The ruins of their cities lie
    In ghostly grey disguise.

    And here am I, so all alone,
    Beneath the ocean blue,
    With naught but ghosts and memories
    To tell my stories to.

    Perhaps a giant solar flare
    Just cauterized this place,
    Killed the plankton, killed the fish
    And starved this long lost race.

    Despite the spirits of these dead
    I'm really quite at home,
    For everyone I knew or loved
    Is also dead and gone.

    The pseudo youth of lightspeed flight
    Allowed my journey here.
    It took a hundred earthtime years.
    I found that price was dear.

    My family has long since passed.
    How apropos for me
    To tell the tales of those long dead,
    Beneath their ancient sea.

     

    Poem Comments

    (5)

    Please login or register

    You must be logged in or register a new account in order to
    leave comments/feedback and rate this poem.

    Login or Register

    Teardrops commented on Algol Sun

    01-31-2011

    Your talent is amazing with each poem I see you grow in knowledge and grace . You are truly a master at your craft . Gerat write and thanks for letting me read it Marie

    gmcookie

    02/01/2011

    Thanks much kiddo. It's a long way from a ranch in Tornado Alley to the dual sun of Algol. I'm glad you were able to make the trip safely.

    Teardrops

    02/01/2011

    Speaking of ranch i got 11 inches of snow last night so it was fun being on the trip with you Marie

    gmcookie

    02/01/2011

    Lol... Well, I'm glad I gave you that electric blanket then. It sounds like it may come in handy!

    Teardrops

    02/01/2011

    Your blanket came in great thanks for thinking of me Marie

    Hampton commented on Algol Sun

    01-31-2011

    The structured verse in the hands of a true poet is a sight to behold. Well done.

    rsalassi commented on Algol Sun

    01-29-2011

    Your level of creative expression zooms upward with staggering speed, leaving me and the rest of OP in your stellar dust. You are truly amazing.

    gmcookie

    01/29/2011

    Richard, I don't necessarily agree that I'm better. I do love structured verse and feel like I'm getting better at it. Plus, I like creating these little stories and am sort of fascinated with sic-fi right now. In fact, I'm thinking of writing an anthology oh structured sic-fi poetry. I'm glad you like this stuff. It gives me hope.

    bandit1192 commented on Algol Sun

    01-28-2011

    Enjoyed this read very much. (actually looked up Algol Sun) Read a good story, learned a little mythology, and got reaquainted with astronomy. TS

    gmcookie

    01/28/2011

    Thanks Bandit... I'm glad you liked it. It was fun to write, but I had to keep reminding myself not to get carried away. Sometimes less is more.

    HarverTomsson commented on Algol Sun

    01-28-2011

    Another way to a soliliquy, and the Bard would be proud! Harv

    gmcookie

    01/28/2011

    Thanks Harv.... There is one line I'm hung up on... The last line of the second stanza has one too many syllables... I have to think about that.

    HarverTomsson

    01/28/2011

    Not to worry_ by following the stresses in the first stanza, you will naturally read mystery as a 3 syllable word = 7 beats in that measure. Also, anyone south of the Mason - Dixon line will take 3 syllables to say ancient, as well. A seven/six final cadence is a comfortable disarray from strict discipline, after all, no one is listening, remember?

    gmcookie

    01/28/2011

    Lol.. Oh yeah.. I forgot that. They're all dead!

    Poetry comes nearer to vital truth than history.

    Plato (BC 427-BC 347) Greek philosopher.

    gmcookie’s Poems (186)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
    Wonderment 0
    Bora Bora 3
    Twister 1
    A Deal with Death 2
    Frodo and the Ring 1
    Glacier 0
    The Earth Was Far Too Fragile 2
    Clyde 0
    The Wars That Men Have Fought 0
    The Oracle of Tuckahoe 0
    Down the Drain 3
    Isabella 3
    I Write Because 5
    I Never Thought I'd Live to be a Hundred 3
    Singapore River 1
    Remember Why We're Here 0
    Ghosts 4
    Most Definitely More or Less 2
    China Doll 1
    Imagine 2
    How to Feel 2
    With Regrets 4
    A Melancholy in the Land 0
    The Borneo Fogcutter 1
    January 21, 2013 3
    Limerick 5 4
    Kress Five and Dime 1
    Beowulf 2
    Icarus 3
    Universes 5
    Human Race 2
    Requiem for Earth 1
    Fathers and Sons 2
    Goldfish 5
    Robin Adams 1
    Peaches 5
    When We Were Young 3
    Unknown 1
    Solstice 1
    Nkosi 1
    Day's End 0
    Outliers 2
    I'll Be There 2
    Mystery 0
    Grafitti 0
    Brand New Day 0
    Leaves 0
    Oedipus Rethunk 1
    Language 0
    Fire 2
    Arthur Kleinfelt 0
    The Last 0
    To the Ants 0
    Is Love a Lie 2
    A Cat, at That 0
    You Weren't Here 0
    Sacred Ground 0
    Rats 0
    Greed 2
    Breathe! 2
    One Percent 1
    Hands 1
    If God Had Not 3
    As Once There was a First Time 0
    Ghouls 1
    Something Evil 0
    Blue Dot 0
    Against All Odds 0
    Spacers 0
    Pink Flamingo 3
    I Thought 1
    The Old Hochstetter Place 3
    Sirens Wail 2
    Lost 0
    Social Insecurity 3
    Dandelion 2
    Zelda the Zebra 1
    Avotcja 2
    Virtue 1
    Extinct Species 1
    Things We Learned 1
    Leadership 1
    Conundrum 1
    Wheels 0
    Winona the Widow 0
    The Game 0
    Willie the Weasle 0
    Barney the Badger 1
    Priscilla the Pig 1
    Free Lunch 2
    Candle 0
    The gods 0
    Street Kids 1
    Junkyard of Forsaken Dreams 3
    Life is... 1
    Time's Villanelle 3
    Taxi to Eternity 3
    Common Sense 2 1
    Enlightenment 1
    The Loon 4
    Meaning 1
    The Best that Money Buys 2
    Splendid Orchid 2
    The Singularity 4
    Ruth 3
    Pirates 3
    Back Side of the Moon 3
    Self Control 3
    I Am 2
    Dust 7
    Lullaby 2
    Clones 4
    Epitath 3
    Algol Sun 5
    Children of the Stars 8
    Structured Verse 9
    Tapestry 4
    Punctuation 10
    Buddha's Remembrances 9
    Sagittarius 8
    Limerick 4 5
    Keyboards 4
    Our Lives 5
    Christmas 3
    Halfway to Eternity 7
    Eddie Noel 9
    Limerick 3 5
    The Hand of God 9
    Invisible 8
    Nature 7
    Limerick 2 7
    Limerick 1 9
    Frankie Fish 14
    My Children 8
    Tribute to Helios 21
    Duality 15
    Choice 12
    Old Folks 6
    If I Could Love 17
    Common Sense 11
    The Shadows in Your Eyes 9
    Silence doth become the dead 11
    Hung's Story 15
    Vietnam Peace 9
    Speaker for the Dead 9
    Hummingbird 9
    Fairies 7
    On the point of a pin 11
    Life's Manual 7
    Ephemeral 5
    Tiger in a Cage 8
    Time 7
    Love's Refrain 10
    Destruction 7
    Building Life 10
    The Past 9
    The Cat 6
    Grace 7
    No Two the Same 6
    Effort 6
    Cottonwoods 7
    Monsters 5
    Mayflies 7
    Ray's Dream 14
    A Thousand Thorns 4
    Family 6
    Childhood Toys 18
    The Kid Down the Street 7
    Red Moon 22
    Love's End 6
    Time is a Brutal Mistress 4
    Blessed 3
    Boundaries 7
    The Reason Why 14
    Hope 12
    What To Do With Me 4
    Pleased 8
    The End 10
    My Hands 5
    Night Time Sky 9
    Hung's Book 2
    Death does not equivocate 14
    I Cannot Say 6
    What if 15
    Only Words 7
    After the Light has Faded 6