How to Feel

2 Comments

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  • Life
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  • Philosophy

    Poem Commentary

    My first serious attempt at free verse...

    How to Feel

    This poem is not about

    the exigencies of life

    the crushing passions of it

    the unbridled race to its end.

     

    Its not about the opium den

    in My Tho' where we sought

    to numb the numbing fears

    of war amid clouds of sweet

    smoke and vacant eyes.

     

    Its not about Big Man

    who pushed his shopping cart

    and slept on the ramp of the Dim Sum

    restaurant for years, years,

    until he disappeared one day

    and never found his way home.

     

    Its not about Brenda who

    dedicated herself to career

    and put off childbirth until the last moment

    before breast cancer took her,

    and left the child, lost.

     

    This poem is not about the past

    or the future.

     

    It's about how to feel...

    now.

    Poem Comments

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    dahlusion commented on How to Feel

    03-27-2013

    Absolutely beautiful in all of its truth, wisdom, and belief. Such delicate lines and delivery of memory. Suggestions: "It's not about the opium den in My Tho' where we sought to numb the fear of war amid clouds of sweet smoke and vacant eyes." It's not about Big Man who pushed a shopping cart and slept on the ramp of the Dim Sum restaurant for years until he disappeared; never making it home." Thank you for the invite to read this!
    Reply to Comment

    gmcookie

    03/27/2013

    Thanks Dah... I appreciate the thoughtful critique and couldn't agree with you more. Another poet that I greatly respect on allpoetry.com is also going through this. I want the next re-write to take in suggestions from both of you. It seemed to me like a good start, but I always revise my work repeatedly. I expect the next cut will be a substantial improvement. Here's a poem by my friend on allpoetry.com: http://allpoetry.com/poem/10484409-Infinite_Feedback-by-secret-creep I think you can see, with my fascination with sci-fi, why I like this piece. I think I'm going to take a couple minutes out of my reading on the 8th to present this one.

    mufasa commented on How to Feel

    03-25-2013

    So very true,live in the now. Life is way too short.
    Reply to Comment

    Poetry is not the expression of personality but an escape from personality.

    T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

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