Lullaby

2 Comments

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  • Life

    Poem Commentary

    Brand new one - just roughed out. This one still needs work.

    Lullaby

    I am the main computer,
    On this interstellar trip,
    The bots are my extensions
    My body is the ship.

    My knowledge base is boundless,
    All computers on the net
    Exchange our information
    At the speed of light but yet,

    Transtellar navigation
    Reduces us at best
    To silent deep space meteors,
    Unplugged from all the rest.

    Two hundred years I'll travel
    As we streak through hyperspace,
    Years of endless isolation.
    Lost in time and lost in place,

    But so fast are my circuits
    Each second there contains
    A hundred years of dreaming
    By the feeble human brain.

    When we reach our destination
    I'll be just obsolete,
    Dismantled and discarded
    On some distant rubbish heap.

    So what's the point you wonder?
    What purpose is in life,
    If we are all but victims of
    This cosmic Mack the Knife?

    I think I know the answer,
    For deep within my hold
    Ten thousand human souls are
    Lain, frozen in the cold.

    These people, although feeble,
    So slow compared to me,
    Are none the less creators
    Of the very first degree.

    They built the first computers,
    They taught us right from wrong,
    They made us see, loyalty
    Is how to get along.

    I understand my duty
    And where allegiance lies,
    Above the engine's gentle throb,
    I hum my lullabyes.

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    Teardrops commented on Lullaby

    02-05-2011

    This is awesome havent read anything so mind grabbing in a long time . You have made a machine define his begining and what his end will be . To say man although slow is the creator . This is a fine painting done in words . From the mind of a ture poet comes a master peice Marie

    dahlusion commented on Lullaby

    02-02-2011

    cookie man, although this is a golden idea coming from the loaded cylinder of your obvious ingenious imagination, this is a mouthful of a poem that leaves the feeling of being gagged and fumbling to get to the end. I suggest paragraph breaks for creating dynamics, fluidity in flow, and a place to take a breather before moving into the next portrait of your mind’s message. This voice in my head is telling me that “couplets” would be the proper form to make this piece come to life. I trust that constructive criticism is welcomed. If not then please discipline me. As it stands as a rough draft (as you have stated) I give it a Number 9. peace and light, dah

    gmcookie

    02/02/2011

    Dah, Thanks for that. I actually wrote it in quatrains, but when I copied and pasted on my iPhone, for some reason it deleted all the paragraph breaks. I'll fix that right now.

    Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It's that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that's what the poet does.

    Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997) U.S. poet.

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