Cottonwoods

7 Comments

Poem Commentary

Written on the bus on the way to work... Comments are welcome.

Cottonwoods

Sacred was the word she chose,
Sacred like the great cathedrals,
Carved of stone they slowly rose,
Built by hands both scarred and caloused.

Sacred too these ancient trees,
In a ring so neatly planted
By elders in the springtime breeze,
Whose gnarled hands knew many seasons.

Grandma Rae was ninety four
When she held me on her lap
Pouring out her ancient lore.
"Cottonwoods, they thought them sacred."

Standing in that ring, a boy,
I felt I knew the reason why.
I could feel the sacred joy
Of cotton silk on spring breeze borne.

And when the sun's rays filter down
Through cotton fluff lofted on high
It seems a halo or a crown,
While breezes sing a vespered song

And leaves all murmer in their voice
Praises, in that holy place.
In unison they all rejoice
The spirits of those bygone days.

And in the eve by firefly light
The whisperings of silent prayers,
While up above in deepest night
The milky ghosts of fallen braves.

It was the sod that made the plain,
From the Mississippi River
To the Rocky Mountain chain,
From Canada to Mexico

In winter snow and summer heat,
It blankets all this mighty land
Supporting native grasses sweet
For buffalo and antelope

Supporting too the elders here
Their weathered faces carved by time
Their eyes fixed on this "Last Frontier",
Their hearts attuned to spirit ways.

Grandma Rae said settlers came
And cut the sod to build their homes.
With a new frontier to tame
Plowed it up to plant their seeds.

For time unheeded in that sod
Had gone the bodies of the old,
The plants and creatures made by god
Rested there in soft repose.

When the buffalos were gone
The starved descendents of the land
Were either killed or moved along
While "sodbusters" ripped at the earth

Until at last the earth fought back,
Babies choking in their cribs,
While "dusters" turned the blue sky black
And swept away the farms and crops.

They scoured clean that sacred land,
They took it skyward in their wrath.
Leaving naught but dust and sand.
What happened to those ancient souls?

There is one being who would know,
Having stood the test of time,
Watching through the rain and snow
The troubles that have come to pass.

Like incense in a mortared apse
The cottonwood lets loose it's fluff.
A fluke? Or could it be perhaps
A tribute it has paid the past?






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Hampton commented on Cottonwoods

10-04-2010

A beautiful write my friend. The meaning and visions are even more intense for those of us that grew up in the shade of the majestic cottonwood.

gmcookie

10/04/2010

Hehe... I heard you were from Coffeyville. I grew up in Hutchinson. Of course my family came from Liberal and lost the farm in the dust bowl. Yep, I like this one as well. It sort of "smells" like Kansas.

Hampton

10/05/2010

Born in Coffeyville raised in Wichita

Paolo commented on Cottonwoods

09-19-2010

This work is a tribute to the metal those who made the way for us. I could see in the poem narrative the challenges these who had gone before faced and came to know their history, in some ways, made apparent to myself the reader. I would make one small change and that is to remove completely the last stanza. The key sometimes to a great work is knowing when to stop, here it seems your desire to tie up the work gets in the way of making a powerful statement and leaves us with instead with question.

ginga commented on Cottonwoods

07-25-2010

cookie, Albeit a work in progress, I would classify it an essential poem of history, nostalgia, passion, symbolic metaphor (cottonwood). This poem is enthralling and a keeper. I personally cannot see it as a rough form , it's perfectly edited unless you have more to say. 10+ :) ginga

ApaqRasgirl commented on Cottonwoods

07-24-2010

Wow, that was superb my friend, I could feel your closeness with mother nature in this, as much as I feel mine from my Blackfoot native heritage. You told the story oh so well and the gift of remembering your grandmothers words, of stories from long ago past down to her and on down the family line. Yes the settlers came and were arrogant about living in that part of the country, for they destroyed what held the precious land together and as they stood there with their destructive hands in their pockets watched as the wind carried their once fertile soil away in the dustbowl that came from hell. Even then they did not learn their lesson and continued to destroy what life was left for "The People" who cherished the land and gave thanks for its gifts to them. they destroyed their last hope for survival in their home when they killed the buffalo, starvation then loomed, nothing left to do but be forced to move what People there were left that had survived. This is a great write my friend and a wonderful tribute to what once was so grand. I wrote a poem years ago called 'The Buffalo" one of several I wrote about my Native American heritage. please have a read I think you will like it. blessings to you friend love asha

RHPeat commented on Cottonwoods

07-24-2010

"ancient age"(sp) is redundant in its use. Ancient is aged. Let something else be ancient besides age. Ancient cottonwoods could work, Ancient trees works. If you see what I mean. This is a well done piece, Glen. The concrete images really dance and create real feelings. A few of the lines in a couple of places could be tightened up some, like "turning the sky to black" could be "turning the sky black." Just simple things like that can help the rhythm and contextual flow some. It is very well written for the most part. A pleasure to read because of your use of real images. A poet friend// RH Peat

gmcookie

07/24/2010

Ron, Thanks much for your comments. As you can see, I have adopted your ideas (or perhaps stolen them!) I do appreciate the time you spent reading this. I realize that it is a little outside the scope of our class. You are somebody I trust for a candid critique. This is still a work in process, so I only expect it to get better...

RHPeat

07/24/2010

Don't let it grow any longer. If anything cut a couple of quatrains if you can. A poet friend// RH Peat

The true philosopher and the true poet are one, and a beauty, which is truth, and a truth, which is beauty, is the aim of both.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Poet (1803-1882)

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