When We Were Young

3 Comments

Tags:
  • Life
    • ,
  • Love

    Poem Commentary

    A Sunday morning poetic musing... Written on my kindle while still snuggled warmly in bed on a cold winter morning...

    When We Were Young
    When we were young and love was freely given
    We found that adoration like some brook
    Bubbled effervescent through our courses
    Eddied in our every quiet nook

    Bore us on its back like swirling leaflets
    Washed us in its grace like bending reeds
    Enough the warmth of sun and crystal waters
    Enough to satisfy our simple needs

    And then the kiss that caused our cheeks to redden
    And something primal stirred behind the door
    We found that love was somehow insufficient
    Despite the wealth we had we needed more

    Then came the searching and the acquisition
    The ownership the jealousy the strife
    The broken hearts and ruined dispositions
    The disillusionment and fractured life

    The stream is muddy now, less energetic
    And when we think about our distant past
    We wonder why those clear and bubbling waters
    Couldn't find a way, somehow, to last

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    dahlusion commented on When We Were Young

    01-25-2013

    Beautifully composed and wisdom-filled discourse on aging—bravo!
    Reply to Comment

    Narrator commented on When We Were Young

    01-14-2013

    A hearty tryst into wonderful metaphor and wry recollection, I think it might be your imagery, but despite the somewhat downbeat implications, I am not disheartened by this. The notion of eddies and water worked very well, blending with a wonderful rhyme scheme to create a well crafted piece. A pleasure, thank you.
    Reply to Comment

    slimgoodwoody commented on When We Were Young

    01-04-2013

    Loved this coming of age piece! Maturation and age besets us all! Thanks for sharing!
    Reply to Comment

    Poetry is what gets lost in translation.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

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