Building Life

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  • Inspirational
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  • Life

    Poem Commentary

    Poem # 7 for RHPeat's poetry class in the OP forums This assignment is adapted from the "Pantoum" a poetic form indigenous to the Pacific Islands. In this form, lines 2 and 4 from the first stanza are repeated in lines 1 and 3 of the second stanza. Likewise lines 2 and 4 of the second stanza are repeated as lines 1 and 3 of the third stanza. The final stanza wraps back around to stanza 1 and echos lines 1 and 3 of that. It produces an interesting effect.

    Building Life

     Some assembly is required, you might say.
    A life is not a simple thing to build.
    Fine tune your moral compass right away,
    Don't freely let your dreams go unfulfilled.

    A life is not a simple thing to build.
    So learn that love that loves to learn each day.
    Don't freely let your dreams go unfulfilled,
    Don't quit when obstacles get in your way.

    So learn that love that loves to learn each day.
    Learn how to give your heart and lend your hand.
    Don't quit when obstacles get in your way,
    Don't ever  be afraid to take a stand.

    Learn how to give your heart and lend your hand.
    Remember to choose love instead of hate,
    Don't ever be afraid to take a stand.
    Be proud when it is time to meet your fate.

    Remember to choose love instead of hate,
    Some assembly is required, you might say.
    Be proud when it is time to meet your fate,
    Fine tune your moral compass right away.

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    Springsize commented on Building Life

    10-07-2010

    Your Pantoum poem follows the instructions perfectly, after you have made corrections, I see, from the comments... so good work there... that's what this entire class is all about... learning to perfect our thoughts into classic and smooth reading poetry... and This Form is a difficult one.. Also, your poetic intent [though simple], is beautiful and deliberate.
    Reply to Comment

    Chaos128 commented on Building Life

    07-28-2010

    "Don't freely let your dreams go unfulfilled." Now that's a classic line. GM... you make it look easy : )
    Reply to Comment

    gmcookie

    07/28/2010

    Well.. succeeding at it may not be easy. But that's no excuse for not trying!

    ginga commented on Building Life

    07-25-2010

    cookie, Lessons on a living and the mores we form are always great fodder for poetry! ty ginga
    Reply to Comment

    gmcookie

    07/25/2010

    You know, Ginga, most of this, in fact most of the important things I learned in life, were taught to me by my Grandmother Nellie before I reached age 6.

    rsalassi commented on Building Life

    07-25-2010

    It is an interesting form. Reminds me of a circus tumblers act, in verbal form. Dig?
    Reply to Comment

    gmcookie

    07/25/2010

    Yes it does... I just have to concentrate so I don't accidentally step on my tongue... This tumbling stuff isn't easy at my age!

    Teardrops commented on Building Life

    07-23-2010

    Cookie you have the mix just right this cake should be ready for every one to taste loved the poem it over the top as always Marie
    Reply to Comment

    Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It's that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that's what the poet does.

    Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997) U.S. poet.

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