Conundrum

1 Comments

Poem Commentary

This morning's ferry meditation.... Only minutes old now and probably needs tuning.... Enjoy

Conundrum

We strive, in life's relentless flow
To know the things we need to know,
And in the end begin to yearn
For them to learn what we have learned.

But if there ever was a way
To say the things we need to say,
The will would not be there, I fear,
For them to hear what they should hear.

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aw3haiku commented on Conundrum

06-19-2011

Ok, I can feel you but feel frustrated. Like the words themselves get all in the way. A tad longer than a limerick though more poignant in seeking to express a connection, wanting a deeper relationship with "they". Cookie, maybe try to unpack some things, depicting them in imagery instead of relying so heavily on allusion.

gmcookie

06/19/2011

Amos, Thanks for the feedback. Yes, there is frustration in this piece. But I like the generality of ":they". It means you can apply it to whoever you want. If the shoe fits, wear it, so to speak. Actually, I don't necessarily think this is one of my best poems. However I am proud of it on a different level. The structure is unique. I take the end rhyme of each of the odd numbered lines and reflect that twice with an internal and end (same word) rhyme on the ensuing even numbered lines. In addition all lines are iambic tetrameter. This one was not easy to write. The rigidity of the structure was frustrating when I was working on it. But on the other hand, the piece is about frustration, isn't it? How appropriate that it should have been born in frustration. Like all my poems I'm not through with it yet. It's only a few days old. Generally they tend to continue to grow and develop for many weeks after their birth.... heh

Poetry is what is lost in translation.

Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

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