Peaches

5 Comments

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  • Inspirational
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  • Life

    Poem Commentary

    My second poem today. Perhaps there is something to be said for rainy days...

    Peaches
    From Evernote: Peaches
    Never so content with limitation Always pressing far as we can go On the cutting edge of innovation Pushing at the limits of the known
    Understanding no one else has got them We struggle to attain that rarest find With thought it is we reach the highest branches Those golden yellow 
    Never so content with limitation
    Pushing it as far as we can go
    On the cutting edge of innovation
    Probing at the edge of what we know

    Understanding no one else has got them
    We struggle to attain that sweetest find
    With thought we strive to reach the highest reaches
    Those golden yellow peaches of the mind

    Poem Comments

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    MootPoint commented on Peaches

    01-16-2013

    Love it, love it. I really like at the end where you do a not so conventional slide with reaches and peaches. The know and go is just so much more crisper for me. May the nector of creativity always flow. :)
    Reply to Comment

    gmcookie

    01/17/2013

    Thanks Moot. I actually went back and forth on that. I tried highest branches - but I, too, like the play with reach, reaches and peaches. It just seemed more poetic to me.

    poett commented on Peaches

    01-16-2013

    I truly like it just as it is. Its impressive how you used peaches in it. I really like the rhythm of this poem. Great write.
    Reply to Comment

    MootPoint commented on Peaches

    01-15-2013

    I would have put it, "Pushing at the Limits that we know"(or something like that) to give it more of perfect rhyme. Perfect rhyme when you can is my motto. Over all a good write that shows creativity.
    Reply to Comment

    gmcookie

    01/16/2013

    Moot, Thanks for the feedback. I always prefer to get ideas and suggestions on how to improve a piece in these comments. Yours is a good one. I will have to think on it. I'm not sure I like "that we know". I understand it makes a perfect rhyme. Of course "the limits of the known" is a more common phrase and sort of gives folks an expectation of the upcoming rhyme (slant rhyme in this case). Yes, I'll have to think about that line further. I prefer to use exact rhymes when possible, but am not adverse to slant rhyme at times. Thanks for the suggestion.

    MootPoint

    01/16/2013

    I fully understand if "known" works better for you. Creativity and meaning outway perfect rhyming every time. Just something to consider. Happy Writing, Al.

    gmcookie

    01/16/2013

    Moot, I made some changes. How does it sound now?

    jademelissa74 commented on Peaches

    01-14-2013

    The metaphorical content is impressive. I love the way you manage to maintain the reader entangled with each vine of this very interesting poem...In my own interpretation, seeking knowledge never ends! Great write. I enjoyed it very much.
    Reply to Comment

    gmcookie

    01/14/2013

    Thanks Jade. Its good to see you active in the OP community again. Welcome home kiddo.

    slimgoodwoody commented on Peaches

    01-04-2013

    Excellent poem! I really enjoyed the rhythm of it!
    Reply to Comment

    The true philosopher and the true poet are one, and a beauty, which is truth, and a truth, which is beauty, is the aim of both.

    Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Poet (1803-1882)

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